Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML
Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
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Top comments
stronghand0331 17
The best line is, "My cat was comforting me." I wish my cat comforted me like that. Selfish little jerk!
RedPillSucks 33
Did you throw up on the cat?
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Comments (101)
LittleMissSusie 0
Indeed! Or any good saline rinse, I'd imagine.
kayjay10 0
try smelling coffee beans. the scent is supposed to clear out your sinus. people use it at candle stores so u can smell different ones with out the smells blending.
RebeccaP2010 0
Time for a Netti Pot!! :)
dt520 4
yeah that shit hurts. its gross but ketchup can remove any smell/taste from your nose/mouth.
Zebidee 9
OP: Kitty, do you have problems with vomit sticking to your fur? Talking Cat: No, why do you ask? OP: *BLEURRRRGGGHHHHH*
nybor 0
I hate when that happens. Doritos and cheap vodka are permanently ruined for me.
EvilDave 13
Cats don't comfort people.
bv110 2
what about doritos and expensive vodka?
Inked_9 0
LOL my cat was comforting me... Image in my mind: OP: ugh I feel sick Cat in suit and glasses with notepad like a psychiatrist: would you like to talk about it? :|
bv110 2
OK yeah if it was actually like that make him have a german accent (froid) and it would be an even funnier picture if as soon as she puked through her nose he would be like "...hmm...interesting *scribbles on notepad*" lolmaoroflcopter!
Zebidee 9
*Freud. What you said was 'cold' in French.
bv110 2
really? hmm...never knew though i probably should cause i was kind of learning french like 2 years ago...w/e its still funny to picture it!
ciaracustard 0
Been a long time since I've done that. It's a pain in the arse when it happens to you but it's really funny when it happens to other people. Even funnier when someone laughs while drinking milk and it comes out of their nose lol.