Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
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Top comments
kamkak 0
why didn't you just have a portable phone with you?
towboatdude 0
Op sounds like you wound up in a shity situation there! I know I'm wrong for that but I couldn't pass it up...
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Comments (80)
Melvar_10 3
nvm ignore my comment, I fail Damn it anti-flood, you zombie moderating thingie Y won't it go away?! It keeps doing this to me!
Melvar_10 3
Ok, people should really stop hatin on Canada, and I'm american. Canada is a good place for retirees, due to it's peacfulness and it's healthcare. Canada rarely encounters problems like the USA does. However, they aren't exactly the most rich and powerful country ever. Btw, USA isn't either, but we are wealthier.... I think. lol People should just leave Canada alone, they never do anything to others.
Melvar_10 3
Some people are just that way. I for one wish to go and enjoy Canada
SACaveman 3
Now thats a shitty situation to find yourself in eh.. Still sucks though..
givemechange 0
#52, ya id probably hate Canada too If i didnt have universal healthcare, either. Get a life. It's sad you have to resort to making lame jokes about another country because you can't think of anything witty to say thats actually relevant to the OP's FML. (Yes, I realize the hypocrisy of what I just said, but **** 52. Hes a doofus.)
alex112094 5
ummmm 52 I have stupid or what? I've got a cell phone dipwad I live in montreal. I bet your american too??
cmac86 24
cordless phone. keep it with you. or your cell phone. that's what pockets are for. unless you leave your pants in another room, which would be really weird.
IJam2DMB 0
stupid canadians
alex112094 5
Wow get a life dipwad just have to continue the godamn fight fuckface
1LL337 0
YDI for not having a wireless housephone
jenicaistgeil 0
WTF how did this conversation end up with Canada?