Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
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Top comments
kamkak 0
why didn't you just have a portable phone with you?
towboatdude 0
Op sounds like you wound up in a shity situation there! I know I'm wrong for that but I couldn't pass it up...
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Comments (80)
aenemadreamer 0
wow i've fyl'd for this and the previous two fml's. sheesh....
RedPillSucks 33
@30 You're cute but in a creepy way!!
smiley_ily 0
haha, I agree with with #1 and at least the person on the phone didn't have to hear your business if you had any and at least you got to go to the bathroom faster (:
smiley_ily 0
sounds*
RedPillSucks 33
I don't think they really mean it. They're just trolling. If you said you were from Mars, people would be like... "Those damn martian f*ckers. Why don't they go back to where they came from and stop stealing our women and raping our jobs" All the Canadian women on this site are "hawt"!!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Invest in a cordless phone. Also, you can do your stanky business, then get on the phone and dial back the last caller. That is, unless you have a phone from the middle of the last millenia.
alex112094 5
yea 26 got a problem?
irishdad 0
to all Americans who said positive things about Canada ,thanks I'm canadian and proud. and **** nut #11eat something...start with shit
ladidalisa 0
agreed.
MrSassypants 34
dude what's up with all the FMLs about taking dumps not in a bathroom or not having toilet paper or getting nuked while stuck on the toilet like big deal.
carpediem9_fml 0
Hahaha explosive ftw damn anti-flood.
dugumit 0
that's some tough shit......or was it??????
UNCmike 0
wow that's a lose-lose situation.