Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
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Top comments
sparda4355 0
People... He crashed on his friends couch long enough to sober up! At which point all he was thinking about was his own comfy bed! He didn't look in the mirror because he wanted to get home. It makes sense! OP... Light weight! Never fall asleep first!
Dogmaw 0
If you were still too messed up to see the writing in your mirrors, you shouldn't have been driving.
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Comments (86)
ohhhhshizzz 0
Thank you Templemind47. Oh, and this is straight out of an above the influence commercial, not the cop part but the drunk sleeping friends writing on you part. Not calling a fake, just saying. OP: I'm not voting, but LMAO.
DangerousBabee 0
xD Ahaha that's what you get for passing out with your shoes on (:
24788 7
LOL, YDI x 10! Not a ticket, but for being pulled over. First one to pass out = screwed
rukusrazor 0
#25 - thank you. Garden State FTW.
SomeGuy1234 0
I betting most of the people on here saying YDI for not noticing have never been seriously drunk.
aztec37 0
#41, People getting written on while passed out isn't really uncommon. That's where the abovetheinfluence commercial got it.
Tsukasa_fml 0
#11, long weekend.
proud_liberal 0
You are an alcoholic and you need help from AA and Jesus before you hurt someone. I should call the cops on you for this FML. FMEveryone else's life for having to share a planet with you!
fmlbeast 0
i know you must have had at least 2 schlongs drawn on you. haha!
fmlbeast 0
it had to look like this: 8============================D