Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
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Top comments
sparda4355 0
People... He crashed on his friends couch long enough to sober up! At which point all he was thinking about was his own comfy bed! He didn't look in the mirror because he wanted to get home. It makes sense! OP... Light weight! Never fall asleep first!
Dogmaw 0
If you were still too messed up to see the writing in your mirrors, you shouldn't have been driving.
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Comments (86)
I2OI3 0
You got drunk on a Sunday night?? YDI
sparda4355 0
People... He crashed on his friends couch long enough to sober up! At which point all he was thinking about was his own comfy bed! He didn't look in the mirror because he wanted to get home. It makes sense! OP... Light weight! Never fall asleep first!
DONTbEMO 0
Who doesnt get drunk on a sunday night?!?! FY Friends.. much sympathy goes out to you
musigreg 0
agree with 6,
ivdrscg 2
my roommates always drew on me strategically so that i couldn't see it. when i had class one morning i looked in the mirror and washed off whatever was on my face and checked everywhere else and thought i was safe... until i raised my arm in class and someone told me that right on the underside of my arm where i cannot see without a mirror was written "PARTYY!! =)"
ElDiablo_fml 0
At least you were sober.......
Yeoman 0
#16 is right, DUIs are always bad news bears.
Kyraniums 0
It obviously sucks, but if you were really drunk, you couldn't have sobered up in a few hours. Did the cop test you? XD
geek_in_the_pink 0
soo... what did it say? :)
rukusrazor 0
Nice, so you had a **** farm on your face with stuff like "I love ****" and "penis goes here" all over it. I'm betting he gave you a warning, then proceeded to call in to dispatch and have a good laugh at your expense.