Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
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Top comments
sparda4355 0
People... He crashed on his friends couch long enough to sober up! At which point all he was thinking about was his own comfy bed! He didn't look in the mirror because he wanted to get home. It makes sense! OP... Light weight! Never fall asleep first!
Dogmaw 0
If you were still too messed up to see the writing in your mirrors, you shouldn't have been driving.
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Comments (86)
strawberry76 0
sleeping doesn't help u get sober by the way..the only thing to help u gEt sober is TIME!!! DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE DUMB ASS!!
RuralNinja 0
Lol @ #68. I wish all the cops I've ran into were as dutiful and virtuous as the ones around where he lives. And I've had friends sober up and not notice the marker on their face, it happens sometimes. Sucks to be you.
Persisted 0
#65 way to miss the point. Point is, he drank and drove. Sleeping doesn't make you sober. And therefore he deserves getting pulled over.
Scorponok 0
Don't lie to the cops, boozehound.
spannerxox 0
#72, i think he made it quite clear that he was not drinking and driving but drinking and sleeping it off! Yes sleeping doesnt sober you up but what was he going to do for the five or six hours on a sunday night while drunk? make tapas???? idiot.
The_Foreigner886 1
LMAO! That's hilarious - did the cop do a sobriety test on you?
chachki895 0
dude, always remember to take your shoes off when you drink, always.
monsooneth 0
That cop must have pretty good vision to see writing on your face through one of your mirrors, unless he was really close to your car.
dframe16 0
That sucks!!! Reminds me about this one niggtnwhere we sharpeed dicks all over my friends face and arms and he had to go home the next morning to his mothers house hahahahaha
scintillantb 0
@#77...dude i totally forgo about that rule LOL. Oh and OP..good for not drinking and driving!