Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
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Top comments
jeremymg91 0
Sucks for you.. can't really punish her though.. I didn't understand that "drinking" was an alcohol term when I was younger either.
ladycoyote 0
Ah, children. Reason #8672 why I'll never have any. :)
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Comments (400)
FoundManyLemons 0
No officer, but I might be committing some child abuse later.
assa_fml 0
not as uncommon as you think...... when I was a kid, my mom used to use a wine glass to drink tea and one time our neighbor came around in the morning asking for something and I said "sorry, mom can't come to the door right now, she's having wine" :/ same deal, only less funny... also, #362 has a point..... x)
insinuendo 0
So what's the problem? Didn't you explain that you'd had a milkshake and passed the test?
Alice_Cullen7 0
Haha thats cute what the kid did. But all u had to do was explain and they test u dont they?
smnc 0
aw . FYL ! bt yuu culdaa jus toldd at to the cop . bt if my dauqhter did at she wuldaa qotta whoppinq when we qot home !
stronascurge 0
#366 you have some serious issues man. i men who the hell beats their kids anymore? asshole
Masta_Blasta 0
jööh.
GrimReaper973 0
Thats weird, for me at least, i never got the inclination to rat out my parents to anyone
dizzy87 0
I did something similar once. A cop pulled my mom over and he asked if she had ran the stop sign. She said "no" and I said "I think you did, mom" right in front of the cop. Luckily he let her off the hook, but my mom was not about to do the same. haha
whiteinsheffield 0
I think its more worrying your kid is 6 and doesn't know the difference between 'he' and 'she' yet
Averageman 0
a simple explanation of the milkshake would have sufficed I'm sure the officer would have realized what your kid was talking about. if it really came down to it breathalizer would have proved you right. I turned out of the wrong entrance in a parkinglot causing me to neon the wrong side of the road because of a medium, it was late at night no traffics so I turned around cop pulled me over. almost gave me a breathalizer but I got off Scot free.