Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jeremymg91 0
Sucks for you.. can't really punish her though.. I didn't understand that "drinking" was an alcohol term when I was younger either.
ladycoyote 0
Ah, children. Reason #8672 why I'll never have any. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (400)
bosshaug 0
She's grounded
skatezero666 0
beat some sense into her little ass
charlie94_fml 0
well the kid is right. you would still pass the breathalyzer if you really weren't drinking, so quit bitchin..
Twinfools2431 0
hahahahaha thts funny
darkelf06 0
what did the cop respond with? as long as he knew it was a milkshake you drank, it's okay. therefore this shouldn't be an FML if the cop believed the kid and assumed you were drinking alcohol and got in trouble for it, that's when it's an FML
FMLFAN1 0
Awww, your kid was just being honest! At 6 years old, he/she wouldn't know that the cop meant drinking booze.
godyourethick 0
Your child's clearly an annoying prat. I'm sick of people going on about how stupid annoying obnoxious stuff that children do is "cute". It's up there with saying "Aw, bless" when a spoilt little shit does something irritating on my list of pet hates.
Grand_Marquis 0
I think every kid in America thinks this. I remember when I was five or six and I saw my first "never drink and drive" commercial, and then later I got in the car with my dad who was drinking a can of Pepsi. I was terrified.
Anu_Ra 0
LOL OMG Now your kid so owes you when you need your car washed ;D
mas19 0
LOL Grounded for life. Of course he didn't know what the cop meant, but I'm sure you ended up fine...