Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
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Top comments
jeremymg91 0
Sucks for you.. can't really punish her though.. I didn't understand that "drinking" was an alcohol term when I was younger either.
ladycoyote 0
Ah, children. Reason #8672 why I'll never have any. :)
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Comments (400)
kelibeli 0
Haha. Well that shows how kids can brighten & ruin a day all in one moment. PRICELESS
Ilovelife07 0
What to do: Step 1: undo the kids seatbelt Step 2: open his door Step 3: take a corner super fast so he flies out of your car
ibemad_fml 0
So what? He'll make you stand on one leg, recite the alphabet, and maybe you'll have to take a breathalyzer test. So what??? You'll still pass.
LexyLithium 2
lol I can't do the sobriety test completely sober...xD
moony13_fml 0
When I was little I didn't get the "alcohol" portion of "drinking," so when the police would tell us in preschool to make sure our parents didnt drink I'd tell them Daddy drank all the time. Ah. Childhood.
125wrestler 0
Hahaha that's great haha Oh well she doesn't know any better Lmao that's ****** great
deaditegirl 0
I'm pretty sure a cop will understand that this is a little kid who doesn't get that "drinking" in this context refers to alcohol. If you just had a milkshake, you'll be fine.
emilyelle 0
I used to think the same thing. I remember one time my mom had drunk half a glass of wine sometime before driving us to the grocery store, and she mentioned this, saying "you shouldn't drink and drive", and i gasped, "Oh no! I had a glass of milk!"
mattmag 0
Eh, I'm sure nothing bad came of this.
2niggaz 0
You deserve it for saying you had drunk a milkshake.
missalkali 8
notice it says he's from Germany, perhaps English isn't his 1st language. dumbass
skim1994 0
LMAO! Im pretty sure you passed the alcohol test.
nm22395 0
Maybe it was a special milkshake