Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
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Top comments
jeremymg91 0
Sucks for you.. can't really punish her though.. I didn't understand that "drinking" was an alcohol term when I was younger either.
ladycoyote 0
Ah, children. Reason #8672 why I'll never have any. :)
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Comments (400)
australiaaaa 0
lmao i love this. when i was little, i thought drinking and driving meant drinking ANYTHING. one time i like freaked out because my dad was drinking a diet coke while driving.
Shlizabeth 0
Awe, that sucks, I think I did a similar thing when I was a child. I didn't know that doing drugs meant doing illegal drugs, so when my dad said "I don't do drugs" I was like "Yes you do! You take medicine and stuff." Then again, that was in the privacy of my own home, and there were no police around. And I explained myself.
jollyholly414 0
little kids just don't get that stuff...it's okay (I hope)
woeisme1 0
That's when you take the old belt out and start beating the kid like there's no tommorow.
crazyman44 0
You could have asked the kid what u drank
islandbreeze 0
Haha that's what I thought drinking was too when I was little. Once I heard someone say I haven't drunken in a year and I said to my mom; but wouldn't they be thirsty?! That's when I found out LOL
genius_man16 1
#4 Really? You're an idiot. While I respect the fact that you don't want to have kids, you do realize how retarded you sound right? "I'm not going to have kids because one day I will get pulled over by a cop and they will get me into trouble by saying I was 'drinking' when it was just a pop." Get over yourself.
Sweet_child_NOT 0
Lol. I did things like that all the time when I was a kid. =D I once told my baby sitter that she would be prettier as a brunette because my mom always said that brunettes are the prettiest. She cried. LMAO. I agree with #18. XD
spicymeatball 0
Wouldnt they do a breathalizer?
look_its_me 0
so what? im sure you passed the test. this is not an FML