Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
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Top comments
Hellcrapdamn 0
You sure have a way with the ladies!
teehee520 0
Eww, definitely FYL.
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Comments (50)
plexico 4
She probably puked at the sight of your spindly, pale legs sticking out of your delivery boy shorts. Stick with the long pants.
Bloodknight 22
You so nasty!
alwaysalady 0
I;m pretty sure that vomit is a biohazard. You should have burned that shirt.
MrCanoe 5
I don't see why you couldn't swing by your work or home to pick up a pair of clothes. I'm sure your bosses would prefer you be just a little late dropping off your packages than stinking of vomit
PaulieeBooMN 0
I'm creeping your way And these sheets aren't stopping me Because I'm gonna meet you face to face And I'm gonna start from your waist Up through your navel And we're approaching such a place This is where we both get scared This is where emotion flares This is where we both prepare Navigate me through your body, naviagte me Navigate me through your body, navigate I love the way you tug on top of me So navigate me through your body
theodivine 0
Why wouldn't you just go back and change? That's disgusting.
DieterDerBlau 0
**** you FedEx dicks... you ***** park your vans wherever, in a lane on a busy road around ablind corner, etc., YDI and then some. Karma ************!!!!
andy3_fml 0
i bet you got a boner when she puked on you ; )
mikel81 0
Wow, that sucks. At least it was hot gurl puke.
lovebearrr 0
I was half expecting it to end with some awkward comment about his large package.