Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML
Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
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Top comments
um_duh 0
What a shitty day eh?
lololol111 0
11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry
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Comments (130)
lizzi02 13
#61, an 'ostomy bag can replace part or whole of the colon, temporarily or permanently
AshleyBThaMilf 0
It's colostomy bag, not colonostomy bag.
DoctorManhattan 0
This is what separates us from the apes -- we put our shit in bags before throwing it at people. It's more civilized.
MoobyTheCow 2
"I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face." Yeah, I figured that out after the part where she threw the bag of poop at your face. I figured out there was poop in it, and that she threw it at your face. I deduced that the bag was launched at the front portion of your head by her, and that it was full of feces. I concluded that she chucked a shit-filled bag at your anterior skull.
sleeptonight 0
My friend just had a poop bag for about a month and a half after he got his colon removed and he sent me so many pictures of it when he thought it looked cool. It was disgusting. That was bad enough. I can't imagine it being thrown at me... #77 - Haha that's pretty great.
sarahharassarah 0
colostomy, not colonostomy
carash_fml 0
nasty shit!!
um_duh 0
Chocolate rain
awsnapitsrachel 0
whoever said that the OP deserved it, i hope karma punches you in the face with a bag of shit and you'll come on here and be like waaaaaah and then you know what? WE WILL LAUGH. because you're an asshole. no one deserves poop to the face. i'm sorry that happened to you. :(
jnic 0
#1, where did you even come up with that stereotype? And when is it okay to insult another nation because they use different slang terms than you? That's extremely ignorant. I'm so sick of the completely unfounded insults towards Americans on here, especially when you have NO idea which posters are from which countries. You know what that say about assuming things. And damn, OP... I hope you make a LOT of money.