Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML
Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
um_duh 0
What a shitty day eh?
lololol111 0
11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
jumpdancehigh 0
HAHAHA it's funny okay ! LMAO
nikki1001 0
#16: Chocolate? Ew. Not the first word I would use to describe shit.... Also, Americans say those words too. You're not special.
freddie_fml 0
Oh, sorry, man. I have nothing but admiration for you for working with people with psychological problems, though. Hope today is better for you.
spamme 0
do like in the old 19th century fashion way, give her enemas till she recovers her sanity!
FML_IS_FUNNY 0
ok #1 some people say "poop" to be polite....i say it around ma kids....doesnt mean anything sheesh.... OP did da bag OPEN or did u just get hit by a bag of shit? i rather get hit by a CLOSED bag of shit dan an OPEN bag of shit lmao @ #24
penizulaface 0
#34 i know americans say those words too theyre just the only ones ive heard BRITISH people use for shit. =]
killirself 0
Nice goin ********!!
XvxvX 0
Jeez just throw it back!
butter_flew 0
oooh nasty! ;z poop!!! ;p
meadowlark 0
Welcome to the medical profession.