Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML
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Top comments
bromeister 6
When life gives you lemons, cut them carefully.
bellles 18
Those damn bloody lemons
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Comments (72)
cherries62212 16
Looks like you need a protective suit just to cook dinner. don't worry, you'll get the hang of it one day.. maybe.
Enslaved 38
Gotta keep your fingers tucked in and out of the way of shape knives! Technique is just as important as the tools you use. Learnt that from watching many cooking shows!
Morning_fml 22
That was a little painful to read. I hope you're okay, OP. You're a good mom for trying.
whitetiger13131 26
Yikes, that sounds painful.. FYL and I offer my condolences.
sunnysideup25 7
Ouch. Hopefully no oranges to go with that.
worldclassrager 41
Well that cut is as clean as a whilstle...now watch the salt
name_loading 19
Tip: To prevent yourself from cutting your fingers while chopping vegetables, have someone else hold the vegetables
mybubbles2000 13
So you can cut them instead.
False_Stupidity 42
Might be a new product for OP in this... Lemon scented band-aid® with real lemons!
silverkaast 9
pro tip: delivery food.
rocker_chick23 27
That just made me cringe.
spikekutter 9
are you a man or a woman?
rocker_chick23 27
What does her sex have to do with this FML? Nothing.
Zebediabolical 45
Half of me says YDI, If you screw up and hurt yourself so often while making dinner, maybe you should take a 'cooking for idiots who hurt themselves' class. The other half says YLS, at least you were trying to get some veg into them instead of giving up and just opening cans or stuffing them with takeout.