Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, my husband drank way too much white wine at a wedding and projectile vomited all over me and my car while I was driving. We were 5 miles from home and I have emetophobia (the fear of vomit/vomiting). FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
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Top comments
chouter21 10
I can't help but get a flashback of the horrific 2girls1cup video...
unknown_user5566 27
This immediately reminded me of the Family Guy episode where Peter, Chris, Brian and Stewie are trying to outlast one another after drinking some weird medicine. It was disgusting as a cartoon, so I can only imagine how horrific it was in real life. FYL indeed, OP.
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Comments (112)
RoxxyHustle 7
This is why puke time is alone time. You make some tea, dim the lights and say here's some tea hunny so you feel better. I wuv you :-) and be all good wifey when he comes OUT of the bathroom. Especially if you are a sympathetic puker. Know thyself!!
Bladeofarzeal 6
I believe it's called epicac? If memory serves me correct.
noisebox 1
Sounds sick in every way on every level
lebronesque73091 12
True love.
arlo1024 0
Lol Reminds me Clam chowder from Family Guy
DrFuzzyPickles 9
I feel like I've seen this before..
jokeables 0
Hahaha I got the best visual from this, FYL ya poor thing.
Cryogenix 12
It's nauseated. Not nauseous.
Mortoli 30
lol ah a word to the wise from a comedian I cant remember the name of.... Ill get your mother..... lol
cherro 5
Pardon me for asking but wouldn't you notice when your about to barf?