Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, while I was trying to put my high fluoride toothpaste on my toothbrush, I miscalculated the pressure and ended up squirting a massive glob all over the bathroom cabinet and a rug that was on the floor. My stepmom says if we can't get the bleach stain out of the brown rug, I'm going to have to replace it. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Today, my very sheltered girlfriend decided to surprise me by cleaning our apartment. Although she grew up with housekeepers and maids, I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t try cleaning the bathroom with both bleach and ammonia. We still can’t go back inside our place. FML
Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
****! that is really dangerous! Poisonous gasses everywhere lol.
taylorrswift 0
Why would you have those things right next to each other...
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Comments (67)
ciarafox9 9
time for a new house?
jess6blondie9 3
If you shouldn't mix those two things, I'm confused why you had them right next to each other... You're not to bright are you OP.
juliette320 0
that made me lol *
T3P33_fml 0
it's not like it was a chemistry set, they were housing products...
TXjuggalo972 6
chemistry set in a school? what? lol
BloodyHeel 8
Well Jess, fancy you telling OP they're not too bright, and you can't even spell 'too' correctly. A little stupid of you.
RedPillSucks 33
Most people don't read the chemicals in the labels in order to determine what can be placed next to what.
jess6blondie9 3
54 - What's your issue with me? This isn't the first comment you have tried to make me look like an ass on. My bad for putting the wrong 'too' in there. I thought since I was talking about 2 different things that it should be two. If not, oops.
TwatRot69 0
Leave the girl alone... it was a simple mistake.
meegsiiee 5
Ehh.. Bleach for toilet and shower cleaner for shower so if shes cleaning she would obv have both together.. Duh?
underguarded 20
It's called a ' lid' for a reason...
hpdc 0
I can't believe you're the first to mention this!
ICantNameMe 2
That's what I was thinking. If it has a lid, use it... although I don't suppose it's any use now.
underguarded 20
Just shows the stupidity of the person cleaning. Two chemicals that don't mix well together, are open near eachother?
T3P33_fml 0
well Rebecca Black's parents did mix their sperm and ovule and we know for sure the result is highly toxic...
IBeBlazin 0
54 was talking about where you said "not to bright" when it should have been "not too bright" just to let you know :P
Iskaria 0
Jess it may be that most people dislike pretentious, self-important drawl in 'about' sections, which seems to be all yours really is. Besides, for someone who "couldn't care less" if others like or dislike her, you sure don't behave like it :) Just my observations, I may of course be wrong!
TwatRot69 0
Jess isn't even commenting in this section??
5t3ff1k4h 47
Dude, I'm a Grammar Nazi and I didn't even feel compelled to point out her mistake. She typed one extra letter - too vs to. It's not a big deal.
5t3ff1k4h 47
That comment was meant for thread 19. Sorry! My comment jumped.
jess6blondie9 3
Thank you 95. :)
callofduty4life 0
Smooth move ex-lax
a7x_RoCk3r 12
That joke is so old
jess6blondie9 3
He's bringing it back in style. :).
denvan 0
Wear a gas mask breath like Darth Vader
juliette320 0
that made me lol
enonymous 9
Sounds lie a terrorist plot. where's Jack Bauer when you need him
khristina_marie 0
like*
that_is_Nathy 9
If you are THAT clumsy you sure shouldn't leave all your chemicals open. You did so YDI
Norther 1
ydi for keeping 'em open. And not closed
Based 0
Someone could light a match and throw it in your window and make you very sad.