Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML
Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
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Top comments
LouisianaBob 9
You can't even take the time to simply have a conversation?
RochelleRedvines 8
You read jokes while video chatting?
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Comments (103)
returnpolicy 3
I really want to hear this joke that made you laugh so hard. Normally when I find something funny I just give a little smile and "hmph"
2ndSucks 15
I don't understand why you couldn't have a one-on-one conversation without reading jokes. Talking really is underrated nowadays.
sparkrok 8
or is it overrated....
sparkrok 8
wait it's not. gimme a second to duck before the firing line of thumbs down starts...
2ndSucks 15
There's an edit button for that. Unless you're on the app, in which case, I suggest you duck.
ProhibitionRose 14
There's an edit option on the app I use...
sparkrok 8
Is there one on the app for droids? 'Cause I don't see it...
omarzrgz 3
I like listening to people's problems :); try telling him the joke?
g_asia 4
You can read jokes on your own time. I don't see why you would distract yourself when you're having a conversation with someone. Jerk.
nofearjenshere 12
You're a jerk. I know. You're a jerk. I know. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk.
desireev 18
Girl, you ain't neva lie! But ay, do me a favor.. Call me jerk one more time!
biggerthanlife 0
Sesame street jokes during video chats? Hmm...
demonmonkey 13
Sucks to suck
LaColombianita 26
....what?
nerobluerose 10
Chicken but.
Fenthik 4
I beleive he is referring to his ability to post good comments.
Goatinsfriend 8
Pay more attention when talking to your brother.
cutieepie101 0
people cheat. you feel like shit. that's life. forgive your sister, brah.
gonad_gobbler 1
Op, tell your brother when he gets out of the shower to swing his hips back and forth, so his penis hits against his thighs and makes a funny clapping noise. I know that always cheers me up when I'm feeling down.
Awsumuzzie 12
Anything for girls?
sparkrok 8
uh... lean forward, and thrust back and forth so your boobs make the same sound? might work if they're big...
GoW_Chick 15
Or you could try to do that butt clap thing the girls do in clubs, I've tried but this white girl just doesn't have enough junk in the trunk to pull it off successfully.
Pudagiah 12
I guess he just didn't understand that when you said LOL you meant Lots Of Love.
ProhibitionRose 14
People don't actually say "laugh out loud" or "el oh el" when they laugh in real life... At least I hope they don't.
nerobluerose 10
Some do. It makes you want to slap them, trust me.