Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, my girlfriend got very mad at me after finding several appointments with "Amanda" in my calendar. Amanda is my psychiatrist. FML
Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML
Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
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Top comments
DEXter501 0
This is where you simply switch up all those numbers and have her basically reveal it to everyone herself.
KVKdragon 26
ouch. maybe you should dump her. looks pretty clear that she has other weekly hookups besides you. if you do though, don't mention the phone. otherwise, you'll be at fault and seem like the insensitive one to others.
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Comments (201)
Dragon10 1
Well, maybe you shouldn't have gone on her phone.YDI
Illyssa_fml 4
Hey, well Saturdays a good day..you're probably her favorite one :) atleast you're not Monday
mikdundee 0
I hear man Friday is hardworking &eager to please,you have got your work cut out for you brother! ha! ha! plenty more crocs out there mate:) Dont get bitter get Better. cheer up!
sapphireflames11 0
Today, my boyfriend went through my phone, even though I made him promise not to do so. He found all of my contacts, including those of other guys I am cheating on him with. FML
nakidna 0
cheating ho
wasted0087 0
If you only ever see her on Saturdays... then why were you going through her phone today? Also, just ask for sex whenever you see her and go find some one night stands and what not. seriously.
mikdundee 0
yeah good point,sounds like this dude might be thinking this hooker really loves him! there's one in every batch. tee!hee!
CoachLlama 5
Very organised lady friend you got there.
generalfubar 0
that's what you get when your girlfriend is hired only on Saturdays.
kaykaypopz 0
Does this have anything to do with your username?
gnarkilljboy 0
I'm Thursday!
Simba501 0
Break up with that bitch