Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML
Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML
Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML
Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML
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Top comments
mjprox 0
ouch.
Chelsea_Grin_10 0
you shud of kept it as a pet n named it cuddles :D
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Comments (108)
DerFuhrer33 0
I don't know why, but this made me lmao.
No_habla_espanol 11
Me too! The part " a very angry raccoon" got me haha
Chelsea_Grin_10 0
you shud of kept it as a pet n named it cuddles :D
decapitatedME 0
You should learn how to spell. And some grammar lessons wouldn't hurt either.
Chelsea_Grin_10 0
y don't u worry bout ur self n not how I spell, n I kno how to spell I jst shortn stuff so it's easier since this is on an Ipod
Aeropostale 0
I agree with number 1: ouch. FYL!
iGrenade 0
beat that pos with the cover.
No_habla_espanol 11
lol!
ZomgWeAreClubKid 0
Lol keep it as a pet, I know I would.
Frenchtony 17
Lady Gaga :)
awesomenina_fml 0
show it whos boss
lol_ironic_life 9
Peter: Oh god it's everywhere! It's even in my raccoon wounds! O_o Hopefully the raccoon wasn't rabid! I would call animal control in a situation like this.
mattman1994 0
lol family guy ^ best episode ever
oboewhore_xD 6
No, the one with the chowder was. :DDD!!!
iamchuck 0
So the raccoon crawled into garbage can for a tasty treat and closed the lid behind him??? I think you are a liar, OP.
Chelsea_Grin_10 0
mayb it's one of the trash cans with an attached lid n OP closed it without looking inside, moved it then opened it to find the raccoon, ever think of that?!?!?
iamchuck 0
Sure I thought of that. I just wanted to call the OP a liar.
Chelsea_Grin_10 0
oh I see...that's always fun
iamchuck 0
Simple pleasures.
Skroal_stomper 5
40 but what sucks is you got modded for your effort.
iamchuck 0
What do I care? When you can enjoy simple pleasures, little things don't bother you.
steelersjackson 0
this isn't even a fyl. if I was your neighbor I'd find my binoculars, watch, and laugh my ass off. wow I'm a dick
imsogangster13 0
hehehe. thiss madee me laughh<3