Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

Today, I told my daughter that we were going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog, who we buried in our back yard last week, so he could come along. FML

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML

Who's a good boy? Not you.

Today, while walking my dog in a cemetery, she stole a stuffed animal off a child's grave and began to play with it. FML

Today, I found the dog I lost while I was dog sitting. It was with its new adoptive family. FML

Archeology

Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

Practice run

Today, I went to console my cousin because I'd heard that her dog had passed away. As I opened the door, the first thing I saw was her extremely old and feeble (but still very much alive) dog. Turns out my friend was talking about HIS cousin, and I simply misheard. Trying to explain that to her was mighty awkward. FML

Traumatic

Today, I sent my kids to play in the back garden and immediately heard them screaming. We buried our dog last week and last night some animal dug her up and spread the bones and rotting flesh around. The stench was horrendous, the kids are traumatized, and I vomited while reburying the bits. FML