Today, I was babysitting an eleven year-old boy. He decided we would play with Nerf guns with Velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck to his pants, and he wiggled it for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after work I came home to find my sons trying to use my tampons as Nerf darts. FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML
Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ChaosZirconia 0
That's actually pretty funny. Only an idiot would hear the explanation and find something wrong with that. So, uh, what's the big deal?
Yunie_fml 0
I think it would've been worse had it been the mom who walked in. Maybe that would've been FML worthy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (39)
ChaosZirconia 0
That's actually pretty funny. Only an idiot would hear the explanation and find something wrong with that. So, uh, what's the big deal?
Kir 0
Hitherto agreeing with post#1 Did you try to explain?
TheMalygos 21
Question, why aren't you replying to #1? And potentially allowing someone else to have the privilege of #2
woody_fml 0
Is this that FML worthy?
ghall 0
**** the kids life?
Yunie_fml 0
I think it would've been worse had it been the mom who walked in. Maybe that would've been FML worthy.
limeade 0
Why would this even have made it as an FML? Seriously?
KenMcGormick 0
at least it is easier to explain to the dad... unless you are a guy
BlueCat18 5
OP's a girl
potentpotable 0
Baby-sitting stories are so funny. It would be a true FML FL (for life) if it was the same person posting all these stories, though!
kandy_fml 0
This isn't a FML. If you explained the situation to the kids father then he'd probably understand. Your life isn't ******.
lynx_fml 0
Agreed, #8, there are plenty that don't deserve either response.