Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Record him saying all of that, make 100% sure that it saved, and then call his parents and tell them to come home immediately to show them the video. That shit's not cool and he needs some serious discipline. (Make sure he doesn't know you recorded him and doesn't have access to your phone so he can't delete it).
MrZsDad 19
Should have told him to sit down and shut up before he ends up on a milk carton
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (145)
kpohil 13
Kids has balls still next time record it for your protection when he says something like that.
adrian1910 15
Seems like I would have said when I was 8.
kpohil 13
I work with 1st graders. this is not uncommon.
thief1434 23
#12, Are you trying to make everyone think you were/are a douche?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
19--seriously? ?
ProfessorMctitie 20
#19 You work with some messed up 1st graders then.
kpohil 13
43 worked in 4 different states in the us and a few months over in Japan only place I found kids not like that were in Japan.
iti_fml 12
because they are made in japan
FluffyPandas156 13
or because they are raised correctly
brehhh_fml 8
freaky hentai **** sounds like a great thing to grow up on, my friend
coming back in the future 30
Plot Twist: OP is actually one.
MrsDruidess 23
yes record it and play it to his parents!! He could actually do this to someone.
sandraw1 22
You're forgetting the fact that in some countries it's actually illegal to record someone without their premission. At least it is where I come from.
mrmcleod 29
#112. The hell it is. Maybe recording them unknowingly and make money from the video or recording them by way of voyeurism. You can record anyone if they're doing something illegal to protect yourself, such as in this case. YouTube is riddled with videos from all over the world of people being recording unknowingly. Wouldn't YouTube not allow videos like that if it were illegal? Cops record peeps on their stings. If it were illegal those types of videos wouldn't be accepted as evidence.
Mauskau 36
I don't remember giving my permission to be filmed on CCTV or speed cameras. Can I opt out? :)
blackonblight 33
120 I believe the law about recording applies to audio. So that joke doesn't really work.
sadistmonkey 19
It is actually illegal in 11 states in the US to record conversations in person or by telephone without the consent of all parties present. California is one of them, although I read that there's an exception when the recorder thinks he's recording evidence of a serious crime or if there's no reasonable expectation of privacy. Michigan, where the OP is, is not one of them. The point is, your assertion that it's not illegal anywhere is factually incorrect.
blazingshot147 19
@130 well I would rather be knocked with a misdemeanor than a felony, RSO list, and being unable to get a job in this situation... Dammed if you do, dammed if you don't isn't it?
One_Way 43
You guys are missing one thing in this hypothetical situation. The person being recorded is 11 years old. A former history teacher of mine put it eloquently; "minors have less rights under the U.S. Constitution than convicted felons in prison". So, unless the laws in Michigan are different from the rest of the country, this child can be recorded without his permission or knowledge and OP would not have to worry about any misdemeanor charge.
boostedc 24
That really sucks. Good luck with him.
carecow 16
A 11 y/o who understands the concept of blackmail, not sure if I'm supposed to be impressed or terrified.
Classy_Sassy_15 15
terrified
Mkm1997 20
I'm kinda impressed. I mean bad for op but this kid gets the job done
djurmel89 30
Definitly terrified. A 11 y/o who understands the concept of a sex offender list AND blackmail...
MegasaurusRex89 28
I would call the parents straight away to tell them about that brat.
EmoKami 21
Definitely! I don't think the job is worth that...if you call them as soon as they left then there should be no doubt to them you're telling the truth, but I'd still record it next time you "get in his way" enough for him to threaten you. I'd leave regardless though, since I feel the child would still "cry wolf".
EnchantingCurse 0
Telling the parents wouldn't do anything. If you had a kid, who would you believe? Your child that said their babysitter did something sexual to them, or the babysitter that says your child is a liar?
holly_fly 34
That's why they're saying telling parents as soon it happens.
Patriots21 14
"Why don't you take a seat? Go on and take a seat."-Chris Hanson
brehhh_fml 8
*sits down* "what is this? am i being punkd? lol where's ashton?"
wishfulthinks 19
Kids can be little ***** when it suits them, sucks you went through that OP!
panicsdisaster 17
I feel bad for teachers these days. they have to put up with a plethora of these little things.
kpohil 13
Thank you.
martin_dustinc 8
Your profile picture is... disturbing.
tucansamTommyG 12
What a little bastard!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Record him saying all of that, make 100% sure that it saved, and then call his parents and tell them to come home immediately to show them the video. That shit's not cool and he needs some serious discipline. (Make sure he doesn't know you recorded him and doesn't have access to your phone so he can't delete it).
Patriots21 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Really? It's a kid. it's completely unnecessary to go through that much work, damn
JJ_86 22
True #18. There is no need to be overly harsh, treating with too much aggression will probably make a rebel out of him. The kid probably has no idea what he's talking about. Just teach in an understanding way. Btw this reminds me of that South Park episode where all the parents were put in jail and kids owned the city.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
18-- he's a kid now. but give it 5 or so years and he'll be a young adult. and if he's already thinking like this at a young age, just imagine what he'll be like older. he needs to be stopped, disciplined, and redirected!
False_Stupidity 42
It sounds to me like this kid knows exactly what he is saying and how to manipulate people #26. And it is completely necessary to record this shit otherwise the parents won't believe that their little angel would ever say such things.
photographer49 22
#18 it is completely neccessary. Threatening to lie and put his babysitter on the sex offenders list needs serious consequences. Being on the sex offenders list is no joke and can ruin alot of opportunities for OP.
metalcrazed 21
He could get someone sent to jail.
Chelserser 20
False accusations like that can ruin people. Once you've been accused of something like that it doesn't go away. Even if you're never convicted of anything, a lot of people will still question you. If you have a job working with kids and have been falsely accused of that it can ruin your career. Complaints will come in from worried parents about a teacher who still has a job after being accused. Good luck finding another babysitting job if you've been accused as well. It may seem harsh because it's just a kid, but I think it's harsh to ruin someone's career over a kid who was given too much leniency.
alitairi 18
ummm, yes harsh punishment is required. I dunno about you, but when I was that age I didnt even dare threaten someone like that. that kid could potentially ruin OP's life. Even as a joke, thats never okay. dont raise your kids to be manipulative little ***** guys, why do you think this country sucks so much?
Levvy 22
If the parents reacted badly, illegally recording their child could be actionable. Just something to be aware of. Unfortunately, recording someone without their knowledge is not legal in Michigan. It is one of the handful of states that require all parties in a recorded interaction to consent and be aware. Most states require only one-party consent, which means that as long as the person doing the recording is actually involved in the interaction (not, say, hiding in a closet or otherwise hidden), they can record freely, since at least one involved party (themselves) has consented. In short, if you're okay doing something in front of a person, you're okay with them recording it (though distributing/sharing that recording can still be a crime depending on context). This is the federal standard, but some states do not adhere to it.
Likian5 26
What's with this devious little kids nowadays? Doesn't anyone know how to be a proper parent anymore???
cheeeksss 29
You know, it's kind of impossible to expect parents to raise kids absolutely perfectly. And I can almost guarantee that this kid learned this behavior from outside of the household or perhaps TV/books. Not all shitty kids have shitty parents. And not all good kids have good parents.
Likian5 26
What I meant was that this is like the 8th FML that I've seen where a kid has said and done shit like this. You'd think parents would be more attentive to what their kid is exposed to...
cheeeksss 29
How so when the kid is doing things like this when the parents aren't around? My point was, no parent is able to monitor their child every second of every day. Which is why most people's comments on here is advising OP to inform the parents. It's highly likely they don't know their child is doing this.
Likian5 26
If the kid has the twisted idea to extort their babysitter and think they can get away with it, there's obviously something very important that their parents had neglected while raising them. It's not like morals can't be taught, because sometimes they need to be.
Likian5 26
Besides, telling the parents doesn't always work. I've heard plenty of stories from this very site from older siblings or babysitters who've told the parents about terrible things that their kid has done, but have gone completely ignored. Some parents will refuse to accept that their child could do any wrong, and will fight tooth and nail to prove their "innocence."