Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
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Top comments
machiko_fml 0
He beat you to it. Should've said "Ew, gross Dad!"
perdix 31
"Thanks for trying to cover it up, Dad, but I queefed!" Nobody would believe your denial, so making it grosser is the way to go.
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Comments (55)
lukethe 0
balls to you!
ILoveMyXbox 0
Lol, made me think of Meg
drunkssssssssss 0
mmm trail farts love to leave them by a aisle and watch ppl reaction as they walk by
fionapple 0
thing like that often happens among my friends haha
lilvic56 5
LOL go dad
TSS_Fan 0
LOL! You're dad is deviously awesome.
Jess_rog 0
My dad does the same thing lol
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
second try: OP- "Oh Dad, did you forget your 'Depends' again?!...I'll go get some paper towels", (in a sweet, innocent, but tired voice)... if this somehow doesn't work, please see comment #15... that was hilariously gross!
NotMyDay92 0
Your dad is the shit.
m_guillette 0
my mother does that all o the time. it's really gross