Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
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Top comments
machiko_fml 0
He beat you to it. Should've said "Ew, gross Dad!"
perdix 31
"Thanks for trying to cover it up, Dad, but I queefed!" Nobody would believe your denial, so making it grosser is the way to go.
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Comments (55)
alwa7sh 2
Take a crap in the middle of the aisle then go to the store manager tell him your dad couldn't control himself. After that your dad will have a new meaning for "clean up in aisle 4"
monkeyCanDoMYJob 7
that comment made me LOL XD
whisperingeye13 0
this is the funniest comment I have ever seen on this site.
mintcar 10
So? You will never see these people ever again. Unless...you live in a very small town in Ohio, then you're screwed because the schoo children will give you a horrible name and tease you UNTIL YOU DIE!
mintcar 10
School. *
UTTU 0
Hey now, why does it have to be Ohio?
mintcar 10
Because the OP lives in Ohio?
SmallTownCutie 0
*gasp* I live in an extremely small town in ohio!
beastxmanx45123 0
I live in a very small town in Ohio.
nerdsgetmehot 23
That's the point where you take off into a mad sprint and chortle joyously at the thought that you'll likely never see those people ever again.
kingtz 6
+5 internets too the dad if the OP is actually pretty! lol
codystout 0
if I have a daughter when I get older this will defiantly be on my list of pranks
TropicalTulipz 0
im pretty sure it works for sons as well as daughterss
Wheredidgrungego 12
Wait, I thought women couldn't fart?
babybear68 0
win for dad
CallMeHush 1
Shhmelly Girl!
freshx_fml 6
awesome!
Deservesit22 1
I would've said I get it from my dad Then made up a story of how he laid one an knocked someone out "it might happen now. I'd run! Hopefully they would