Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
Today, while I was helping customers in the self-checkout, one lady wouldn’t stop talking to me. Other customers needed help and I was trying to go help them. When I tried to walk away, she hugged me over my arms, physically restraining me. I froze. I actually have PTSD from being sexually assaulted years ago. FML
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
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Top comments
AnyaS 19
Should've gone with your second reflex then.
Jakesterk96 8
Wow, I hope your elbow is alright.
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Comments (158)
greenmen 12
Nice ninja great self defence! Sorry for his ass coming unannounced
CaughtTheMermaid 5
I understand why you would do that. But maybe you have learned your lesson to look at them before elbowing them haha :)
Kristoffer 35
FYL for having a healthy self preservation instinct? It's unfortunate that this happened but you can't blame yourself.
babe7260 30
Aww thats terrible!!! I'm so sorry that happened!!!!!
alaskagrl19 1
FHL. Maybe they learned a valuable lesson today.
notfarremoved 4
Good for you for having quick reflexes but poor guy :/
cookie_crumble89 11
Wtf! Don't you know how to speak?
Lilbob 0
Youre FMLing this...... he has a disability, its not his fault! He was trying to be nice so you really shouldn't be FMLing this at all!!!! He was ONLY trying to be nice.
Vert90 11
Idiot, she posted this because he HAS A DISABILITY and she ******* HIT HIM. Dumbasses. Dumbasses everywhere.
laden_swallow09 35
There is no way to thumb up your comment several times over, 63. Sorry.
Mommyof2_91 10
Yeahhh... I also wish I could give 63 multiple thumbs up. Wow.
Steele45colt 0
It's not your fault but that's just how you are. Now go say sorry to him.
chick92282 15
Wow, lots of negative comments on this one! Rescuetheduck, if I were you I'd feel awful but I kind of understand why you reacted so strongly. The rest of you: remember, we don't know the OP. Maybe she's a veteran with some combat-related issues. Maybe she's been assaulted before. Hell, maybe she pissed someone off and they're threatening to kick her a$$. Who the hell knows?