Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
Today, while I was helping customers in the self-checkout, one lady wouldn’t stop talking to me. Other customers needed help and I was trying to go help them. When I tried to walk away, she hugged me over my arms, physically restraining me. I froze. I actually have PTSD from being sexually assaulted years ago. FML
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
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Top comments
AnyaS 19
Should've gone with your second reflex then.
Jakesterk96 8
Wow, I hope your elbow is alright.
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Comments (158)
luccmon 6
That's why I don't surprise people with hugs. That exact reason.
dan_hiebert 6
If there was the option I'd choose "They deserve it" !
tbenson0628 14
while it sucks that it ended up being one of your patients, you should be grateful. thats the best reaction to have! especially at night when your walking alone and some stranger comes up from behind. who knows it could have been a robber or something. so hey, nice job!
Wavesong 4
I had an internship at a mental institute, and there's mirrors on the corridor walls and you have to check behind your shoulder every few seconds to make sure none of the patients are trying to attack you from behind. So her reflex is quite justifiable.
petraphotoDOTca 6
**** you, bitch
Jasonf6 0
He deserved it. Never jump someone from behind.
EatSleepSports52 0
**** YOU!!!
C94_ 0
Aww poor elbow
Rasetsu 10
I'm really sorry about that but it's good to know you can defend yourself.
FunSized88 10
That just made me laugh really hard, but i really hope that person is okay(: