Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
Holy Moley!!!
greeneyedgoalie7 0
oooh ouch why would he do that?
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Comments (126)
Ajjas013 6
Austin Powers said it first. BLOODY MOLE. HOLY MOLY. CHOP UP THAT MOLE AND MAKE IT INTO GUACAMOLE!
PsychoMerk 0
win :)
blastvortex 4
I was thinking the same thing. [starts chanting "moley, moley" incessantly]
purplemnm 9
ajjas you ******* line stealing bastard
MadaZer0 8
Limey
pr0adam 0
how the **** is he line stealing if he said who said it u dumb bitch
purplemnm 9
**** you 104 if some of your blood went to your brains instead of balls you'd figure out that I was implying that I was going to say the exact same thing AND it's a line from a movie.
Gucci_Girl 2
Get it removed.
Foxracingluver 0
#9 I worship ur puns!!! highlarious!! anyway that's really gross and u should go to like some mole expert to get that thing removed!!!
terrahhh 0
that's gross. now you know to trim up the hair on your huge-ass mole!
laurenheartsyou 0
hahaha, yeah that's what i was thinking. how could you not notice the hair? just take a pair of scissors and cut it off!
babygurl17 0
omg that's soo embarrasing I'm so srry!!! but it's kinda funny in a gross sort of way(: haha
FerrariCake 2
bloody mole = skin cancer Your FML has just begun.
laurenheartsyou 0
o.O
vanillathirteen 0
that is true. get it checked. I don't care about removal unless it actually affects Your health
perdix 31
I'm surprised the person waxing your **** didn't notice that OTHER hairy disaster on your leg and offer to make that less nauseating, too.
laurenheartsyou 0
lmfao
purplemnm 9
the word **** nauseates me...and then I laugh when my phone tries to replace it with cynthia....
CallMeHush 1
Ya, well Cynthia doesn't think it is very funny.
jennacide 0
maybe Cynthia shouldn't act like a **** then. ;P
px_fml 0
i was trying to eat fml. :(
dartpimp 0
*vomits in mouth* ydi for not noticing that nasty shit
sexy_cali_girl 0
ok seriously thats disgusting! thats not a fml!
Rota 0
When I first read your name I thought it was sexy call girl. The picture just adds to it. I think I'm going to stick with that.
laurenheartsyou 0
lol! I did the same thing!