Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
Holy Moley!!!
greeneyedgoalie7 0
oooh ouch why would he do that?
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Comments (126)
withered 30
I say **** your life for being such retarded bitch... If you haven't noticed in your retardness, humans can have hairy moles, so that means also girls can have them. Unbeliveable, huh?
cerberus_fml 0
omfg I hate moles. you did all that shit and did nothing bout ur mole and it's hair. WTF fail
comedychick 1
wow a hairy mole, not to mention it's BLOODY too, thanks.. you disgust me..
sexxyajayy 0
ew?
Ethan_rocket 0
why the hell whould he pull it out? I would not touch that shit.
doomsdore 0
dude thats ****** gross
tokintot07 0
that's grossss, why do you have a mole with hairs on it? YDI
bigpapi210 0
anybody want guacaMOLE? yummers
iijordan 0
omfggg hahaha i diedd laughing at that i have a disgusting twisted sense of humor haha i couldnt stop laughing after i read #86
tomakobriefs 11
Um, so why did you bother getting other hairy bits taken care of but you neglected to trim off a hair on a mole? I understand not necessarily removing the mole, but at least keep the hairs short. Ew. YDI.