Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML
Life's a beach
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
No warning
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
This is fine
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Welcome to the danger zone
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Top comments
CallMeHush 1
Holy Moley!!!
greeneyedgoalie7 0
oooh ouch why would he do that?
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Comments (126)
camsham86 0
Why didn't you trim your nasty ass mole hair? Or better yet, get the damn thing removed.
converseTMB 0
ewww get tht thing checked!
sexy_cali_girl 0
lol rota..ok u can go wit that i guess
niesenator 0
Quick question, what does the bikini wax and the whole beginning have to do with anything? lol and btw you may want to go to the doctor and that checked out. weird moles = skin cancer potentially lol jk... kinda.
jennacide 0
You deserve it for having moles! jk At least your love wasn't grossed out by you having a mole, he seems like a keeper. :) And I don't know about other people but, blood makes me hot and bothered. ;D
aardvarkish 17
what would Austin Powers do?
CallMeHush 1
Mole!
jennacide 0
How is pulling hair off a mole romantic? "Oh 'God', your mole is so hairy. I just want to pull every strand out. Damn your just turning me on so bad!" -pulls hair out then procceds to ravish your body- the blood just makes it so much sexier ;D
sexy_cali_girl 0
o boy..jennacide u a lil freak girl lol u seriously turned on by blood?
Ajjas013 6
1. She was being sarcastic. 2. Go make me a sammich. 3. See above :)
makc5point3vtec 0
lol wow
jennacide 0
Actually to answer your question honestly, its not blood that is my thing. But physical roughness is quite fun, and it depends how their is blood lol. :) And I don't mean I love it when people are angry at me and beat me, I hate violence and anger. But if you can't playfully mess with someone, its boring.
sexy_cali_girl 0
god id hope so..i can c a pain freak but not blood
sexy_cali_girl 0
god id hope so..i can c a pain freak but not blood
jennacide 0
Some pain involves a little blood ;)