Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML
Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML
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Top comments
Kidkaplan 19
Times like theses... "just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming"
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Woah! Did you feel that gush of wind? Oh nevermind, that was just the joke going over your head.
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Comments (102)
xALEXx_fml 15
First at the other end!
Kidkaplan 19
Times like theses... "just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming"
timelessone 16
what if she gets tired? humans aren't fish.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Woah! Did you feel that gush of wind? Oh nevermind, that was just the joke going over your head.
mattlw 25
You will do better next time OP.
diaosi 4
The hardest he has ever swam in his life but got last place, and you think he will do better next time? I'm sorry but that sounds pretty unlikely. I think OP should pick a new sport, like chess or checkers maybe.
andyyroxx 20
47- Ever heard of improvement?
Kozmotis 8
#47 You're a lovely ray of sunshine, aren't you?
JACKxRAWR 22
#47, it's people like you that put me off sport for life. Instead of bitching people out give them some ******* encouragement you ****!
diaosi 4
This is FML, not a peer support group.74 you probably sucked at sports too, ****.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
you tried your best ,,, keep at it & before you know you'll be 1st for reals
buddy51 23
Or next to dead last anyway.....
TheDrifter 24
Practice makes perfect. Now, to decide if I have mastered cup usage or become an alcoholic.
FrankHotpants 31
If practice makes perfect and no ones perfect then why practice?
emilyjgraham 34
56, practice makes permanent.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
Keep trying and eventually you will win!
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Why are these types of comments thumbed down? It's good advice for OP. Plus with practice and dedication OP could have a higher chance of coming in first place.
Sopho_o 15
Don't worry, if you keep practicing you could be first one day!
buddy51 23
And an astronaut. And the president. And aquaman. Or just a loser.
JACKxRAWR 22
Hey, #49... shut the **** up! :)
grahmagog 14
First or last....you still tried
DocBastard 40
I know I am going to regret this, but I just can't help myself... swum*
joawmeens 7
You are totally right
ManInTheMachine 20
So it IS swum. I spent a good minute looking at it and thinking so, but then I just thought "maybe I've been saying it wrong this entire time."
ManInTheMachine 20
EDIT: Actually, I just checked a couple of legitimate English language sites, and apparently both are considered correct. They're both the past participle for "swim". So we're all correct.
Hollandiscrazy 12
FALSE to swim. v. swam (swm), swum (swm), swim·ming, swims Doc: polish your grammar
DocBastard 40
Hollandiscrazy - The past participle of "swim" is "swum". This is a fact and not up for debate or a matter if opinion.
perdix 31
The simple past of "swim" is "swam" and the past participle is "swum." "Swam" is correct in this context.
saxybandgeek 14
I honestly don't think I've ever heard that used before. I guess that's what living in Kentucky gets me.
perdix 31
#40, you are right. As the sentence appears now, "swam" is correct. If "had" had been there, then "swum" would be right. I wish the zods would make a note when a story is edited for spelling or grammar.
evilplatypus 39
Or when they've arbitrarily deleted my penis, as I've seen happen many times.
Roley4498 14
well I can't even swim so it's not all bad :)
svalaedgren 18
At least you tried your best!