Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML
Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML
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Top comments
Kidkaplan 19
Times like theses... "just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming"
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Woah! Did you feel that gush of wind? Oh nevermind, that was just the joke going over your head.
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Comments (102)
hienzburgess 9
wow you're so oblivious to the obvious.
AngrySailor 17
Wow, you're oblivious to capitalization. Easy mistakes. No need to kick anyone behind the **** here.
AngrySailor 17
DAMN! I'm still not used to the new format of the mobile app. I keep messing up which comments are replies and which are separate posts.
Llama_Face89 34
Not really. You're really not supposed to watch where the other swimmers are. Splits your concentration and slows you down. Lost plenty of races cuz I couldn't stop keeping tabs on the guy I was neck and neck with and just swim.
gracehi 33
Aw, it's okay, OP. I recently took up competitive swimming too, and I'm almost always last. Not finishing last is a big victory for me. But that's okay because I'm not in it to win. I'm just staying fit and enjoying myself. Maybe swimming just isn't your thing. So you'll probably never compete in the Olympics. So what? I think you'll enjoy what you do a lot more if you don't focus on winning and just focus on having fun. Or maybe you'll get better and some day you will win. Just keep at it and enjoy yourself. If you get better and win a few meets, then that's just a bonus. :)
Llama_Face89 34
Work on technique first and speed will come with it in time.
FaithCulver 9
Been there! I came in like 5 minutes behind everyone else in my 1st 1000 free. Just keep training!
Swimgal333 0
I am a swimmer and that happened to me onece to so I know ur pain always stay positive u r racing the clock not the people :) :) ;)
Swimgal333 0
Thy is mean to say do a nother sport it is not bout raising the person it is bout racing the clock the message is to Dlaosl
redmane 21
This is mean to say, but what the hell are you saying? If OP likes swimming, OP should keep at it and improve. Maybe the style of swimming isn't working. I'm the best at backstroke. In 5th grade, I beat 5 high school seniors with my backstroke. Butterfly is my weakest but I won't give up trying.
Fedezzer 20
I swim at a club too, but I'm not very good at any of the strokes except for breaststroke, which I happen to be very good at. I have to just grit my teeth while we do sessions and wait it our for that one time we practice BR. Just get someone to give you a little guidance with the technique, you'll get there eventually.
Angie9443 4
Can everyone please stop lying? Obviously if OP was trying as hard as possible and still lost, most likely by quite a few seconds, there of probably no chance OP will ever win.
CharresBarkrey 16
I'm still trying to figure out how they got on the team to begin with.
Llama_Face89 34
I dunno man. When I was starting out I never won a race. But if I hadn't injured shoulder 6 years ago doing butterfly I would have made the Olympic Trials. 2 seconds away from a qualifying time in the 50 free. Not everyone's amazing right out of the gate.
titibug823 11
Its ok, that happens to everyone at some point. Just keep at it and training and you will win soon :)
v1k1rox 12
From experience, if you had time and energy to look around you clearly weren't doing your best especially when it comes to swimming where there is no need to look around to other lanes.
skyeyez9 25
Keep it up! My 9yr old is on her school's swim team and it looks hard. I would probably drown after the 8th lap. But those kids can literally swim laps non stop for an hour sometimes. I am sure you are in good shape to even be on a swim team.