Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
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Top comments
teamlightskin 14
Did he throw you off of him? If not, he is a keeper :)
wilsontws 18
Did he feel the warmth of your gesture?
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Comments (140)
redbandit9877 12
That's pretty embarrassing but just try to explain those things are hard to control sometimes and if he's a decent guy I'm sure hell understand. After all they get hard at the most random times ever.
roaster248 3
If they are pre-pubescent they do. Any guy past puberty shouldn't have a problem controlling it.
ILoveMyArm 15
I guess your attempt to exchange bodily fluids didn't go the way you were planning for it to go.
Ziggy122 15
*insert "urine trouble" and other pee-related puns here*
Welshite 40
#13: At least make an effort.
darwinism 30
Well, if he calls you cold hearted just say "obviously I'm not, my pee is warm isn't it?"
SlapAndTickle 20
Because pee comes from the heart.
football98_fml 20
he must be really pissed off
lovepizza_fml 9
Just like dogs ! You defended your territory!
SpaceRaptor 8
Well... At least it wasn't a lot of piss? Now that would of been a sticky situation.
etishuman22 32
When he looked up at you, did you just smile down at him and say, "What? I'm just marking my territory."
perdix 31
At least you have a team name: the Detroit Pistons. Quick! Show him a "squirter" **** video and tell him that's what he felt.
Olympiakos10 15
It's ok Perdix, maybe next time ;)
perdix 31
#113, hmmm, maybe I needed to spell it "pissed-ons" in case that joke was too subtle. Also, women tend to hate the mention of squirting, because hardly anyone can do it. Very few female **** stars do it, but all the male ones do.
heinous966 15
.
darwinism 30
Are you on your period?