Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
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Top comments
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Just shows that faking will bite you in the ass eventually.
NebulaNick 12
This needs a follow up.
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Comments (58)
xSphinx 18
50 shades of golden showers; remember to hydrate, people of the internet.
allred1997 19
She wasn't necessarily faking, getting smacked on the ass may turn op on and he didn't think about who I was till after
gsam99 20
That's what you get for faking in the bedroom!
kalbrek009 20
Habit? Sounds like someone needs therapy.
HorrorJr 26
Nice
zykrithium 22
So... you're a faker? YDI
jasonswife423 18
Out of habit? Sounds like someone's a faker...
yarani 26
I think what OP meant is that, because her boyfriend was there too, she associated the spank with something sexual she enjoys. Hence the moan. Awkward situation but at least your sex life sounds exciting OP!
extinct_dodo 18
That is disturbing on so many levels. For such a fast response, you must be having sex all the time.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Anastasia Steele? Is that you?