Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
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Top comments
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Just shows that faking will bite you in the ass eventually.
NebulaNick 12
This needs a follow up.
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Comments (58)
HeWillBeLoved105 22
You moan when your boyfriend slaps your ass??
Mauskau 36
OP watches too much ****, where they moan as soon as they take their sock off or something ridiculous. Normal people would make a pained sound, or a surprised sound.
ChristinePi 36
Or maybe OP is into BDSM so it really excites her?
limabeans101029 21
30 & 46: I assumed OP meant that she moans when her boyfriend smacks her ass in a sexual way (as in proper spanking) rather than a casual way... but then that doesn't really explain the grandma thing
militarybrat 21
I do. It feels good. Op said it was habit, so i have a strong feeling she is faking it.
CharlieM78 9
If an ass smack earns some moaning it's hard to believe your boyfriend doesn't know your a faker.
limabeans101029 21
Why? If you enjoy having your ass smacked, I don't think it'd be unusual to moan when your partner does it. Obviously full on screaming would be a bit of an overreaction but a little moan? seems fine to me
lil_ham1644 29
I moan when my bf smacks my ass during sex, usually because other things are happening. In public, I'll laugh & give him a playful shove or something.
invadermaythe1st 35
#26 50 shades of gold, stars?
r1r1h2 11
The comments seem very judgmental. Maybe she moaned because that was something she enjoyed not because she has a habit of faking. Some people are very sensitized and even small things can turn them on. Reality is that some women are as sensitive to sex as men. Just like some men can have some of the same struggles that women do in that department.
Dilwann 27
She said "out of habit", not because she enjoyed it.
B1ackthesun 31
I agree with #43 'out of habit' is very different to 'out of pleasure' for me habit (and I assume others) is the key word.
MysticPanda 11
Grandma wants the booty.
150493x 29
No she really does not.
tanishpradhan 20
Her gammy is a pirate?
gabsgarza 8
Ew.
50ShadesofBooty 7
I guess my username goes perfectly with this situation, considering all the 50 Shades comments.
vlalam 24
lol
Saraishi 25
Either a swatt on the butt reallyyyy turns you on ir you're accostumed to faking it and seems more like the latter than the former from what you wrote...
vikky538 29
need a followup..does your boyfriend and your grandma spank the same way..