Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML
Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Your girlfriend's a ******* ***** YDI for not going after her
Whininghippo 0
He shouldn't HAVE to make it known that she's taken. She should be able to stand up for herself and be like "I'm here with someone, I'm not a *****-nugget."
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Comments (249)
Fling13 0
So let me get this straight. Some random guy starts flirting with your girlfriend in front of you... And you did nothing? I'm not supprised she went home with him.
genius_man16 1
ssnepenthe is my hero
bds0688 0
Are all women as dumb as some people on this site? This whole bullshit "fight for me/stand up for me" then you get pissy when men actually get jealous. ******* stupid. A woman is perfectly capable of just telling the guy to piss off, or just flirting to be nice. It's when the guy gets aggressive or threatening that someone else should step in. Guy stand up for you? How about you stand up for your relationship and yourself instead?
plexico 4
Thank you, donkey_hang_down, for helping with the guys that didn't get the Wii double-entendre. I gotta love how adamt LMAO'd even though he didn't know what I was talking about.
Adamt 0
lmao # 84 what are you even talking about?
ClumsyJason 3
LOL, I agree. Im confused at what # 84 is trying to say.
skullbuster 0
If I have this right, he is suggesting that the OP is a giant introverted pussy who would be more comfortable playing with himself (in the dorky video game sense, that is) and that he lacks male parts (****/balls = Wii). @Plexico: Sorry friend, but this wasn't one of your better attempts. I expect better. You just seem to be in a mad reaction-grabbing frenzy on this post, you've got like 4 blah comments posted here. Better luck next time!
plexico 4
Thanks for your candor, skullbuster, but it goes to show that with humor, it hard to predict the hits and misses. I really liked this one. The image of the dickless boyfriend jacking with a joystick in some stranger's house while his girlfriend was getting slammed in the next room struck me as funny. I thought the Wii pun was pretty good. Yesterday I wrote one about the girl who lived her life like a TV show and I got a lot of good response from that one. I thought it was just OK. I'll keep trying.
skullbuster 0
Yes, I read that one yesterday and was duly amused.
ClumsyJason 3
LOL. Dump that muthafucking *****.
Gavik 0
D-D-D-D-Dominated.
UncleverName_FYL 0
Obviously she’s your ex now, which is a good thing cause she wasn’t worth it. My problem with you OP is why this guy was able to walk out with your ex, still conscious and breathing. If I were you OP, this guy wouldn’t have made it 10 steps from the club without needing to be hospitalized. After that’s done, you can drop her off at the street corner you found her at. It’s the female’s job to reject the other guy and it’s the male’s job to beat his ass so he doesn’t try it again. BOTH of you failed so FYL & YDI
UncleverName_FYL 0
Basically the pussy is suppose to tell the dick not to **** with her, then the other dick beside her needs to bounce in with some balls and **** the asshole up so he doesn’t try to pull this shit again.
girlygirl666 0
I agree! Why in hell is he supposed to "fight for her virtrue" when she obviously doesn't have any.
xHaniffax 0
And you didn't even try to stop her? What kind of a man are you?!