Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML
Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Your girlfriend's a ******* ***** YDI for not going after her
Whininghippo 0
He shouldn't HAVE to make it known that she's taken. She should be able to stand up for herself and be like "I'm here with someone, I'm not a *****-nugget."
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Comments (249)
Sethyboy0 4
You know there is only one thing to do here right? You must know her E-mail and cell number if you're her boyfriend. First, you should go on various **** sites and sign her up her up with any kind of "E-mail me the latest updates" crap or whatever else you find. Also, look for online dating websites and sign her up with more "E-mail and text me" crap. Don't forget to post in her dating profile that "she would like cell phone calls and not E-mails". Finally, get her cell-phone number on as many spam texting things as possible, so she cannot read any of her friends' texts (which she must get if she is female) without going through 50 spam ones first. :D I know it isn't THAT evil, but at least you don't have to leave your house. :P
boredboisereside_fml 0
Pussy. You should have punched him in the throat. No wonder she went off to bone some dude. You're a wus
DameGreyWulf 1
If my guy did that to any fool who came up to me, I would have punched HIM (my guy) in the throat. Spontaneous jealous violence isn't exactly what I'd call a turn on, especially when it implies I couldn't have punched the original fool in the throat myself, should he choose to not leave me alone. It's the stupid bimbo's fault for being a stupid bimbo.
IamVeryCool 0
is that why you have no boyfriend and your snatch has been cold and dry for the past 50 years?
seekasmile 0
FYL for letting it happen!!! Stand your ground! In this case, our so-called "girlfriend" is your ground!--erm...quicksand.
BigWestRunner 0
I ******* HATE *****-skanks like that. Good to be rid of her
Shouri 0
damn your girlfriend is ****** up
dsm_josh69 0
man, if i were you id have straight up kicked that guys ass if he was hittin on my girl.
staystrongholdon 0
Drop the ***** .
DeathTaktiXz 0
Why do you even care dude, find another chick and take her to your place;)
theodivine 0
You're her boyfriend. You didn't do anything to stop it? YDI.
IceCreamMage 17
If my girlfriend said yes to that, I'd have decked the guy and dumped her there and then.