Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML
Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML
Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
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Top comments
pistachiopanda 19
That's horrible... Society really is going downhill.
untouchable763 10
Granny got moves.
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Comments (98)
untouchable763 10
Granny got moves.
MichellinMan 20
So next time, you will know to kick an old bitch in the kneecap and flee.
crystalxa 35
Reminds me of the movie Dirty Dancing. There are some sneaky old people out there!!
pistachiopanda 19
That's horrible... Society really is going downhill.
ChaoticBacon 6
In this case, in a wheelchair...
Pordexel 5
Please stop. I can't stand these wheelchair jokes.
ilikepie22313 5
I see what you did there.
BradTheBrony 19
Oh wheel you stop being such a pansy? Chair just jokes!
Gvfell 9
Do you even lift, granny?
mmaflake 19
Boo
a7x_rever1 7
Look on the brightside you're still alive! Things could have turned out worse!
saad2605 16
Yeah. She could have been a violent crazy serial killer. On a positive note, the elders are getting really messed up. Report her OP.
Tigerblossom 19
You were warned and you still got trolled by troll grandma. Fml is supposed to keep you from making the same mistakes as other people
Jjimen1654 9
Sometimes you have to make the mistake yourself to really learn from it.
dancinwookie 21
Passing down life lessons, one shitty mishap at a time!
Supahnova 14
Grandma's sneak skill increased to 99.
ceremonials 6
Sneak skill increases with age. Or matches age haha
IscoreOnU 19
Her thieving level is 99. Someone will get it
lolfood 24
Runescape.
CTMPandemonium 16
I believe it's Grandma's Pickpocket Skills Increased to Level 99 lol
IscoreOnU 19
Who ever thumbed 43 down he is actually correct. And pick pocketing is part of the thriving skill.
A7XCamaro 19
I guess the question is how many cakes has she stolen to get to a point of being able to pickpocket so smoothly?
kingdomgirl94 29
pickpocketing is a skill in Skyrim and CAN be leveled up.
BradTheBrony 19
ACTUALLY, you guys crashed the aborted fetus of what was coming to be an Elder Scrolls nerding-party, what with the "Sneak skill increased to 99."
samreimer 7
The lesson here: always believe everything the media tells you.
Welshite 40
Forget the media; movies is where I get my information, especially when there are superheroes involved. I'm certain those are true.
cosmosis 12
Agreed 15- and i also like wearing my undies on the outside... Makes me feel super!
mandacleary 14
you can't feel grandmas shakey hands go into your butt pocket?
Shrike 24
Shaky or not, you're probably gonna feel them. That's why most pickpocketers rely on bumping into their victims or making other physical contact so they don't even realize what's going on in their pockets or elsewhere. The more you know, right?
ColbyGB 13
What's up with them elderly nowadays?
laya_fml 26
You should have gone with the instincts you learned from FML!