Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that "team building exercise" really means free labor with no snacks. FML
Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML
Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML
Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML
Today, I got invited to a cookout. The host apologized as I got there because the hamburger meat had gone bad, and all they had were hot dogs, which I can't eat because they give me the runs. It was either that or starve, because I don't get paid until tomorrow. I wrote this on my ninth trip to the can this evening. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
karatekid97 17
To get him back I would've thrown up all over him and/or his car.
omfg_creepers 8
ITS A TRAP!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
SmexiiBacon 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That sucks :p
gracehi 33
You really think so? Sounds awesome to me.
uhhSavage 22
Builds character, right?
OneNightStander 6
This has happened to my team before...
TheRandomIndian 17
It blows.... Chunks
TeamKelly 10
1, there's a button for that.
SmexiiBacon 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I saw I was first so instead on comming up with something cleaver, I wrote the first thing that came to mind
PrussiaisAwesome 15
You don't have to admit it. We already knew.
HKCgrimmjow 15
51- why would you ever want to Come up with something cleaver??? If anything first spot should go to a clever response. -__- and coming* sorry, not a grammar nazi but... C'mon...
AKGirlinSD 20
I was hoping the first comment would be, "... and after the the game, many were puking." Or something along those lines.
karatekid97 17
To get him back I would've thrown up all over him and/or his car.
onlychildFTW 34
And he really couldn't get mad because its his fault it happened. Haha. Mean coach though.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Or in his car ^^
alwayswinning123 7
And then he would get kicked off the team..
AKGirlinSD 20
2, you should've been the first commenter on this FML! I didn't read yours until I commented on 1's comment, writing it should be something about puke.
depocadoll 15
What a dick! I'd puke on or near him.. >_>
SillyGirl4602 23
77- that is basically what #2 said.
omfg_creepers 8
ITS A TRAP!!!
wlddog 14
I am not sure,,,, but it just may be a little late to warn OP. but good hustle anyway.
buckerado 19
Coach:"Trust me guys, no workout today."Linemen:"Ommm-nom-nom"Linemen later:"Oh God what did...*pukes*...deser...*heaves while running*¿Porqué?!!!!!!!
HahaHokayThen 10
...wtf
waitwhatsgoingon 18
Your picture... I can't even... I just... It's...-sigh- WHAT THE ****?
wlddog 14
I think we just witnessed a full on brain fart that ended up being more of a shit stain. Poor 56. Someone get him some toilet paper before he ruins his hat.
imavelociraptor 6
56- based on what i learned in Spanish class "porque" means "because" ¿Por que? Means "why"...
tomhofer 14
That seems like a giant red flag but hindsight is 20/20
AllThingsBright_ 11
You didn't even have time to digest your food? Sounds like a pukefest to me.
travisbell5 1
That coach is an asshole for that. I wonder if he ate any though.
Connect 10
Gosh I've love some BBQ. Stupid freezing cold weather here.
Connect 10
I'd*
gc327072 31
Weather determines barbecue enjoyment?
Enslaved 38
Of course it does. Who wants to freeze their booty off grilling some chops? :P
AKGirlinSD 20
30, it amazes me that people don't realize it is extremely difficult to bbq in below freezing temperatures lol. I'm from Alaska. We got 4 months to BBQ and that was if it wasn't raining.
LiveLoveBeatles 19
One of the few reasons why I love living in Florida. Another being the fact that I always know it will rain on August 6th.
Acik91 26
Who made him a coach?
HaneenDixon 16
Probably the guy who hired him!
gracehi 33
You know what, 34. I think you may be on to something here...
21jason 9
So, whose job was it to clean up the puke?
420Zombie 17
the water boy of course!
White_like_dat 3
Now hit the showers....