Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says, "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was in the bank with my seven year-old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say, "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML
Today, a waitress kept calling me "Mom" and my dad "Dad". My dad (69) and I (38f) hang out a lot, and very often go out to eat, just the two of us. Either I look really old, or people think he's got it going on. Why? They ask me, "Is that your dad or grandpa?" Then ask him, "Is that your wife or daughter?" FML
Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him, "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
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Top comments
Charlie Given 28
LMFAO 😂 that's a great dad come back
nemcali 34
Your dad is awesome!
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Comments (13)
Charlie Given 28
LMFAO 😂 that's a great dad come back
Mathalamus 25
That is disturbing..
EmDizzle2007 28
that shines more light on your own life than you probably want it to.
nemcali 34
Your dad is awesome!
sallygee 9
I think that's funny. sounds like you need to get a sense of humor. ydi
BMXDude22 12
Hey dude, why d'you keep making these stupid comments? D'you ever say anything positive or interesting? ydi
evilplatypus 39
They literally started their comment with “I think that’s funny.” That’s a positive thing. Learn to read.
Nhayaa 21
When I'm with my father people always assume we're a couple even though you can really see the resemblance... But we never react the way your father did, I'll try it next time!
evilplatypus 39
They did a psychology study not too long ago where people were given dozens of pictures of men and women they’d never met. With a fairly high degree of accuracy, they were able to correctly match the married pairs. It’s hypothesized that decades of a similar diet and shared activities lead (happily) married couples to look similar to each other. For example, my sister and her other half - because they hike and fish together, their skin tones have started to sync up and their fish and alcohol diet makes them carry weight pretty similarly.
TxKitten79 10
That's not an FML. That's an awesomely funny dad!
FinkiusMaximus 9
Are you 17? Because that's a legendary dad joke.
AmbrosiaFan 19
LOL I like your dad.
fjvitt 14
...but you have a funny dad...