Are you saying that they seriously deserve to go through the pain of seeing their parents divorce after thinking that they were having a happy marriage? I don't exactly see what you think the OP "deserves" because of her idealized view of her parents' marriage. She may be a little naive, and maybe her parents kept any arguments quiet and behind closed doors giving her the idea that they didn't fight often. Sure, she should've known that most married couples DO have disagreements, but I don't think that equals a YDI.

You seriously need to wake up if you think he seriously needs to wake up if he thinks its normal never to fight in a realationship.

Well its normal for us!! I don't think its going to change since we have 10 years of marriage and 3 years of dating. One thing too that I wonder about is they the hell does it bug so many people that we don't fight? People think we are not normal. Fighting is a waste of time and energy, not to mention things are said that can never EVER be taken back. 14 years together--no fighting---no affairs---great sex---best friends!!

foreverabearfan - I think we're having a problem with semantics. Most people use the term "fight" pretty loosely in this context to include all sorts of disagreements, including bickering and minor spats. "Argument" is another sort of all-encompassing umbrella term. Meanwhile, you seem to be using these terms in exclusive reference to yelling, screaming and crying types of disagreements. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be saying that while you and your husband do have occasional disagreements that require some verbal back and forth, you never let the arguments get out of hand to the point where they cease to be constructive - and they are really more like discussions than "arguments." If that is the case, then I applaud you and I think other couples could benefit from taking your example. Most people would view this as ideal... but I think when you tell people that you and your husband never "argue" it sounds as though you're saying you never even disagree, and that comes across as smug and insincere. Have you seen the movie Revolutionary Road? What you said just now reminded me of it. HOLY CRAP. That movie scared the bejeesus out of me. After seeing that movie, every time my boyfriend and I had a fight, I would be thinking, "OMG, THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE ENNNNNDD!!!!" It has been a huge cautionary reminder in my life that you can't take back the things you've said, and that some things you say can damage a relationship forever. It should be mandatory viewing material for all couples.

KEEP IT UNDERCOVER: Thank you for your response. In my original post that was my exact phrase--that we have never had a BLOW out of a fight or argument. Your exactly right about how we handle it. I think once you scream and yell with a person, the damage is unreversable. It never is healthy to let yourself get that angry!! It is a form of respect for your mate to not treat each other that way. Once that line is crossed, there is no going back. If couples do not communicate, thats where the anger builds up~and before you know it, your freaking out on each other. Do we disagree?? oh hell yes, but we don't criticize or belitte the other person just because they have a different opinion. That is usually what escalades into the big blow up. I have seen couples say some pretty bad things to each other in everyday conversation--its so sad to me that they treat each other like that. I don't even think they know that they insult each other. That movie sounds interesting. I would never fear that an argument would be the beginning of the end for my marriage. If we got to the point that we need to scream at each other, belittle each other, and critisize one another just to get an opinion across, then we would need to figure out what the issue is and resolve it.