Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was once again escorted out of a supermarket by a police officer. I must be the only 83-year-old who still has his marbles, but people always assume I am senile and wandering from a care center. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, at the park, a woman asked if I could watch her toddler for a second while she ran to the bathroom. Before I could answer, she ran off. Ten minutes later, a police officer approached me because someone reported a "man lurking with a child." I’m a woman. And not the babysitter. FML
Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I stopped and helped a young lady stuck on the side of the road. Guess who got accused of forcing myself and got charged with impersonating a police officer. FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I was threatened with arrest for refusing to accept a citation for having a dog off leash in a park. It wasn’t my fucking dog! It was a very friendly stray that started following me on my morning walk. I tried to explain myself but the dog wouldn’t leave my side or stop barking at the cop. FML
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Top comments
sup_bitch 0
damn u ugly
hidingmaster 2
Get off our lawn! Damn kids!
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Comments (156)
MCRandBVBlover88 0
well., FYL..err..F the old peoples' lives!! who doesn't understand how old people can be? easily afraid.....am I right or just plain stupid?
codyfranta 0
Gerard Way!!!
MCRandBVBlover88 0
yes., I freaking love himm! (:
codyfranta 0
My Chemical Romance
abcdefghijKayla 0
just stupid
luvppl 6
stalking the elderly, huh? that's new...
taytoc 10
forest gump...
berryblue 0
did he explain the hell you were disturbing them? its not like you were playing music extremely loud
rattusrattus 19
They were pulling funny faces.
TalkinSmack 6
were u dressed as the grim reaper?
askmeaboutmyDGD 2
ahaha!:D
alex6946 10
oooh burrrn.
BeeMaddness 0
that is horrible
Mythekos 0
Guess they were afraid you'd transform it intio an Elderly Killing Device.
zuzupetalsYO 11
19 your lil pic is so cute!
BWill9014 4
Was it how you were dressed? Old people tend to get nervous when they see younger people dressed in a fashion that is unfamiliar to them... based on your clothing they could of quickly assumed you were 1. A gangster 2. A desperate Hobo 3. A devil worshiper
A7X_LoVeee 10
I'm going to go with.... #3.
MCRandBVBlover88 0
I see where you're comin from.
hatepineapple 14
Next time this is what you do. 1. Dig a hole, and bury a CD player in the ground outside of the old folks' home. Make sure you have fresh batteries. This works best if you can turn on the CD player remotely. 2. Attach several splitter headphone jacks to each other in such a fashion that when done, you can produce sound from five different speakers from the single cd player. 3. Attach extension cords to these splitters so you can place the speakers where you need them. 4. Now as for the speakers, make sure that these are those "natural themed" speakers. You know the ones that look like logs or rocks than you can hide in plants and nobody would think anything of it. These are what you're attaching to the extension cords that go into the splitters. Make sure all of these wires are underground as well. 5. As for the music, I personally recommend a custom playlist of Disturbed's harder material. Preferably anything with a profanity more offensive than "darn it". 6. Offer to volunteer at the old folks' home while you have a friend turn on the system. Let the lulz ensue. 7. (Optional) if you have the chance, set up as many video cameras as you can so you can go viral. Pen cameras would work very well here. Enjoy.
Grammar_Nazi101 0
By the looks of it, you're a [wanna be] gangster....
BWill9014 4
I wear DC shoes... own no chains... play video games a lot... and I don't "typ lyk dis" 61... so trust me I'm far from trying to be gangster... but thank you for the irrelevant comment based upon me wearing a hoodie I'm assuming
rattusrattus 19
37 - You're a terrible person and you're going to hell. Oh, man, I can't believe I managed to keep a straight face... *giggle*
MilkShakez 0
but its the sterotypical blue plaid hoodie
BWill9014 4
83, since when is that a stereotype for a gangster? I mean I can see a hoodie... but a blue plaid hoodie? I sense a stereotype that was just made up on the spot...
MissBunnyWillEat 11
BWill9014, Hey bud, I think 83 is just pulling your leg. Dont worry about it. Besides, if anyone here is a gangster, it's clearly me. That is right my peeps and peepettes. Yo, dog. Peace out, breh breh.
instnt1nfction 17
yo dog peace out, breh breh I'm gangster
instnt1nfction 17
dog rabbit
volleyball332 0
exactly how ugly are you?
Grammar_Nazi101 0
almost as ugly as you, for comparison. and that's saying something.
Enslaved 38
63, Are you sure you're a Grammar Nazi? You really suck at the job. Maybe you should be a troll instead!
SugarCrazy 14
What kind of grammar Nazi doesn't have proper capitalization?! Shame on you.