Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML
Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
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Top comments
dmmd8686 0
Should have gone up to him and said "that'll cost you 20 for the show"
regalarius 0
Man, if I had a dollar for every minute I've been glad no one was watching me, I'd be a rich man. FYL. Also: in before "do him"
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Comments (201)
irrelevantxx 0
*****. Look before you dance. YDI.
magicoilyoctopi 0
#19 win. Hahaha.
MsMegaroo 0
Interesting...why didnt you notice him before you started your dance?
ISellHerbs 0
I like how you all assume he got a boner from her when the FML didn't state anywhere he was watching her...just cleaning a window. Guys get erections all day especially if they're circumcised.
coopcas 0
Giggity.
karma_89812 0
Awkward. But like all the guys are saying, erections can happen out of nowhere- it is, in a way, a form of exercise that happens automatically to keep the equipment in top shape. So to speak, haha.
haha_goodone 3
So you're complaining that he had a boner after watching your slutty dance, but the first thing you did when you noticed him is look at his package? You're obviously proud of your accomplishment.
cactus_fml 0
Hahahaha, atleast you know you're hot?
plexico 4
He cleans the window with his boner? I wouldn't want Windex anywhere near my dick.
RNorthlandLGB 0
He was cleaning with his boner? I don't get it :p