Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML
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Top comments
xnyletak 17
It's okay, OP. December is cold. 'Tis the season to gain some extra insulation.
Somuchart 3
I had the opposite happen once, see I was shoplifting condoms and the owner caught me, looked at my face and let me go saying I couldn't possibly use them so I couldn't possibly be stealing em.
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Comments (90)
khaoticpanda 28
That is awful. Make sure they know their mistake.
NoFightinDestiny 9
This happened in front of me once. I didn't know how to stand up for the overweight gentleman who was accused. Sorry that happened to you OP.
TwistedCherub1 15
I've worked plenty of retail jobs. We were never supposed to confront a customer unless we saw them actually take something. It's bad customer service to accuse everyone in a puffy coat, especially with our winter temperatures. People who do that should be reported to management.
ZY1431 24
I'd would of been like wtf yoy talking bout willis?
MakeTodayADTR 20
Uh, sir? I'm going to have to ask you to put back those hams.
zingline89 18
Wearing a jacket in California? Did it drop below 70? :P
Fender60_fml 6
Win
tinyrosie 21
It's 10 degrees right now lol :p
junkman6 22
Dude it dropped to under freezing out here a couple nights ago, if this ain't the time to pull out the parkas I don't know when is! In all seriousness though, you would think it was a blizzard with how bundled up people are out here right now.
Siererrr 13
This would be clever except for the fact that there is NORTHERN California where it snows and reaches the same low temperatures as the rest of the Northern US. Just saying.
junkman6 22
I do not acknowledge the existence of this Northern California place you speak of. Who cares if our state Capitol is there, it doesn't truly exist.
Huddisher 10
I have a feeling you've seen the Atheist page on Facebook.
BadApple88 29
Take off your jacket and shake that jelly lol
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Lolwat, why would OP shake the thing that caused the store to embarrass them
BadApple88 29
to prove that he's just fat and not a shoplifter
junkman6 22
The truffle shuffle is an obvious proof of innocence.
CarbonCoach 11
Just need to lose a few pounds and you'll look curvy not fat in no time. Sometimes jackets make you look bigger if they are really big on you.
AyeJay101 25
I don't remember chunky being in the 6 levels of fatness.
dawnimus 21
Maybe OP is at the level of "oh HELL NO" as opposed to "fluffy" and is trying to give it a nicer name :)
MsKatieFace 11
Fluffy is a stupid word, fat women make me laugh, call a spade a spade, don't dance around with terms like "cuddly" "fluffy" "more to love" etc, and don't call yourself "curvy". Curvy is like an hourglass, fat rolls and back fat are not curves. Face facts, you're fat, step out of denial and if it embarrasses you to refer to your body as fat, do something about it, not make up pet names to make it sound better.
jazzy_123 20
70, I kind of agree with you. I tell people to call me how they want "fat, chubby" whatever; but there are bigger women who have curves. People tell me I have curves, my measurements show I have curves, and I'm a bigger woman or fat as it should be. Some women are fluffy which means they're a cute kind of fat because the word "fluffy" is a cute word. There's nothing wrong with it so why do you make it seem like it is? some women get offended and some, like myself don't. oh and also, a lot of fat women are NOT embarrassed with their bodies.
Nena_100 15
Thats happened to my best friend.once, we asked to talk to the manager, and as an apology, we got free chips for a year. Fyl op, but don't get fed up about it, I bet your just fine :)
Huddisher 10
A hidden insult? If you or your friend were chubby and accused of shoplifting, after asking to see the manager, I see the free chips thing as a hidden "F you." If that had happened to me, the free chips would've been a wasted "sorry." I'm sorry if I have some information wrong, I am on mobile and I can't look back at your comment without canceling my reply.
yourlifesucksHA 14
Wow chips so your friend can get fatter?
Dark_Stream 29
Shut up and strip. They will think twice about doing that again. A few minutes embarrassment for you, but a life lesson for them.