Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML
Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML
Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML
Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML
Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML
Today, one of my employees lied to his mother and told her that I’m his girlfriend, so she actually came to invite me to Sunday dinner. Nice woman, but I had to tell her he lied, since I’m married, to my wife. She kicked up a huge stink in the shop and accused me of using her son for "hetero sex". FML
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Top comments
fatalkiss 0
She's embarrassed because now she looks like a paranoid bitch who jumps to conclusions. So to justify her behavior, she marks you as "the asshole". It's obviously her own issue. Hopefully, she realized that soon.
Freeze_fml 17
That's how it goes unfortunately.
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Comments (251)
CameronRandle 0
Ditch the bitch.
Time2spare 0
Amazing how she was so quick to accuse of you of a terrible thing like that but the minute she is proven wrong she tries to justify and defend herself by insulting you even more... I wonder the reaction you would get from her if you accused her of cheating.
bigboston 0
women make life hell man but can't live without them
jsleazy49 0
bitches be crazy
Zaffro 8
This is why Barney Stintson has it right!
sockmunky 3
lol that show is amazing.
CallMeHush 1
You're married, you are always going to be an asshlole.
ladyluck82 9
My Fiancé is CONSTANTLY accusing me of cheating! Just this morning I was accused because I woke up, and my mother emailed me a YouTube video she knew I'd enjoy. I showed him and after he watched it and laughed he asked me if it was really my mom that sent that to me! SERIOUSLY?!?! That's why I'm leaving him! OP, don't let anyone run your life! I have never hurt/cheated on my Fiancé for him to think such things! It's RIDICULOUS! Next time she accuses you just say "Yep! Sure did! And SHE didn't accuse me because she was too busy screaming my name!" LMAO That will teach her a lesson!
kgage88 0
lol if you were going to leave your fiancé you would do it, not just talk about it on FML
ladyluck82 9
actually I have already "left" him, as in the fact that we are not together anymore. but we still live together
a_nutritionist 10
yes dump your wife over a single instance of poor judgement. solid advice.
LizzJizz 16
Once a *****, you're nothing more... yeh shes prob ******* around behind ur back, call the bitch out...lol hit up that show CHEATERS
minagiv 11
Is she pregnant? That would definitely explain the irrationality. Otherwise, she's just batshit.
haj_fml 4
nahh, she's just a woman.