Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, I found out my mother-in-law sold a precious family heirloom and gambled away the money. FML
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
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Top comments
hockeychicl003 6
steal it back
fenixtorador1 11
Shows where your husbands loyalties lie.. Banish him to couch land until he takes your side.
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Comments (57)
hockeychicl003 6
steal it back
garrett8614 2
I'm going to have to agree with you on this one.
Lindahhxd 7
If she has a cat, steal it and say its yours!
skellingtonfart 18
32- why a cat?
Feared 9
Why not zoidbergh?
silverhelms 5
If you say "gullible" really slowly it sounds like "oranges"
Pleonasm 36
If you say silverhelm really slowly it sounds like floccinaucinihilipilification.
Lindahhxd 7
It's obvious what was stolen, just like her necklace. :)
perdix 31
Repossessing what is rightfully yours is not stealing.
superguppy19 3
It says guilable on the ceiling lol
Mrjangleybits 1
82 ha jokes on you, I purposely wrote gullible on the ceiling in my bedroom just for situations like this!
fsomelife 26
#45 - If she steals necklaces, she probably doesn't have "her own office, or...or one of those things!"
VoteForTaco 8
God damnit 51
unknown_user5566 27
I feel like this could be an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.
kathuzada 6
Because it isn't that funny?
unknown_user5566 27
10- Haha no. I could just see Marie stealing Debra's necklace, and then Ray copping out when asked to take sides. I think it's a funny show, actually. Not bust-your-gut-laughing funny, but it's humorous.
Pleonasm 36
10 - Zing!
Reeserr 3
Wow just cause she stole a chain and Raymond is black. That's racist...
DocBastard 40
NEWS FLASH! Mothers-in-law are evil!
unknown_user5566 27
I feel extremely lucky to have a Mother-In-Law who isn't batshit crazy.
UberNova 18
Woman Hitler.
ICastillo 25
#9 That's what she wants you to think and before you know it, she is wearing your jewelry and spitting in your food.
lilhellian 27
37 Don't forget about the wine.
iTsbSkuLLy 8
Something like a ... Monster-in-law probably?
SLKBlack96 5
Mother in law----rearrange the letters---woman hitler
souljacker 11
My mother in law is brilliant. I'm well lucky!
owo_fml 9
Doc's comment and picture make quite an ominous warning.
sens3sfailing 25
I can barley stand my grandma on my mom's side who lives with my mom and dad back home. After 11 years of it I was so happy to go off to college without her. I love the women, but I have no idea how my dad deals with it, he can't stand her more than me!
fenixtorador1 11
Shows where your husbands loyalties lie.. Banish him to couch land until he takes your side.
Pleonasm 36
Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold-digger...
DjeePee 25
You mean no sex? Isn't she then also punishing herself?
a_lenzmeier 11
#43- No, he means she can use him as her **** doll, but then lock him out of the bedroom.
SenselessPattern 12
Anyone mentions a hint of sexism and you appear, DjeePee.
dmoz 7
No, don't cut off the sex, give him more! And by that I mean tell him you'll start doing anal if he gets the chain back ;)
Enslaved 38
Maybe your husband is the one that's the thief and gave it to his mom as a gift or something?
fenixtorador1 11
That does sound plausible
DocBastard 40
Every time I hear the word "plausible", I think of Mythbusters.
Epikouros 32
Everytime I hear the phrase "blunt force trauma", I think of DocBastard.
gc327072 31
22- more like I imagine that one episode of csi: las Vegas where the coroner sings the C.o.d. "blunt force trauma to the back of the heeeeaaaad! There was maaaajor hemmoraging in the occipital looooobe!....."
mariah_1_11 22
The plot thickens... Dun dun duuun.
cameron194 9
Why is 60 getting thumbed down?:S it may b odd that that what came to his head.. But it's a pretty catchy tune that totally fits this FML
Pleonasm 36
I was gonna comment but I'm actually still in shock at the shit I just read on the autism threads... thanks nnope.
emeraldisle 30
But... isn't this a comment?
Pleonasm 36
I created a paradox. Uh oh. Quick, I'm going to jump back in time to shoot myself so I don't create a paradox!
ManInTheMachine 20
She didn't steal it! Your dog was looking for the mistresses panties, but found your chain instead, and gave it to your husband, who THEN gave it to your mother-in-law. He was getting back at you for the penny-jar shaking.
jmayes414 5
Sounds likely to me!
ManInTheMachine 20
I guess nobody got the puppy penny jar FML reference. Oh well.
AliceLockehart 18
72 - I did! :)
ladylilly25 20
Sounds very frustrating. Do you have a photo of you wearing it as proof or something?
ukrainianitalian 2
Let's just hope that OP's partner takes her side.
PhishloverA 14
There are men who always take the women's side, or their wife's side no matter how wrong the woman or wife is. It's quite sexist but true
lelo007 11
I don't see where this is sexist in any way.
ManInTheMachine 20
OH, I understand now. I don't think it's sexist, but certainly stupid.
Pleonasm 36
Sexism is pejorative as a term, so if he is always taking her side it's not sexism, as sexism deals with devaluating or discriminating against. "Biased" would be more suitable.
lelo007 11
I don't know about him being biased. It sounds like he's scared of making his mom mad at him. Like one other commenter said, it sounds like a scenario that could have played out on "Everybody Loves Raymond". Off of the topic- Does the punctuation in that last sentence go inside or outside the quotation marks? That always confuses me about titles.
ASD_K 11
But OP is a girl and her husband's wife, unless her husband is oedipal.
Rosie_Posie43 12
Well damn, the man chose mommy over sex. True mommas boy you got there OP