Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
Today, I got new AirPods. As I was sitting on the toilet, they fell out of my hoodie pocket into the toilet while it was flushing. FML
Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML
Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML
Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML
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Top comments
Hendrixguy 0
The karma's so thick in here you could choke someone with it.
DJR_fml 2
Haha. Serves you right dick.
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Comments (110)
skate4life753 0
why?
Doortje 30
Because suddenly brown underwear didn't seem appropriate anymore.. Why do you think, dumbass -_-
skate4life753 0
Purple?
DocBastard 40
Skate4life, you're either the dumbest son of a bitch on here, or you're the biggest troll on here. I can't decide which one it is, so please enlighten us.
hazardoussmiles9 22
DocBastard, I've been looking at your picture for the past 5 minutes and I can't make out what it is.
Hendrixguy 0
The karma's so thick in here you could choke someone with it.
ghbetuehe 0
Karma only affects how you will be born in the next life. Ex: Good Karma: Born a wealthy human, or something Bad Karma: Born an ant Why do people always think it's some kind of justice system? -_-
doink 0
20, THANK YOU. I'm glad someone finally said something.
dandawg69 0
blame the show My Name Is Earl
Acousticpixie14 6
It's not a justice system. Yet, it also does not only affect your next life. The idea of karma is that the your actions are of a certain energy, whether it be positive or negative and that energy surrounds you and attracts similar energies to you. Ex. You kick a dog, your boyfriend sleeps with a friend of yours. You did something negative, and something negative came back around. The karmic effects of all of your actions actively shape your past, present, and future experiences. Source: I took a course on Buddhism in college.
stephanieface 0
20 - what are you the karma authority? no. it affects you now and in your next life
MaskedAspen 6
LOL @ Internet trolls.
ghbetuehe 0
My apologies. I was only taught it affects your next life in my social studies class ._.
Kefka91 15
20 - well it may be true for certain religions that it only affects the next life, but not for all. In Wiccan beliefs karma is that if you do a good or bad act then you will get a greater amount of good or bad back at you. I don't know much about Wicca so I can't say if they believe in a next life or not.
someindiandude 6
The concept of Karma is first mentioned in the ancient texts of Hinduism, centuries before Buddhism originated. The texts say that all the good and bad a person does is recorded and are evaluated upon death, the more the good deeds, the better your next birth will be. Say you had good karma, you will be born human. Say you are a murderer or worse, chances are you will end up a cockroach. All other concepts of Karma in existence have been borrowed from this central idea and altered to suit the need of the hour.
BWill9014 4
Ok everyone you can stop explaining karma now... 38 explained it very well so no further explanation is needed
deejay021 0
#38 so it's like physics,you give off protons (good deeds)... which isnt possible but what ever... and protons are attracted to you (if it were possible in the first place)... give off electrons and negative things are attracted to you. by this logic we could make an engine that runs entirely off of good deeds and end our dependency on foreign oil in no time, or radiation poisoning for all!!! win win?
Acousticpixie14 6
That sounds about right. However, I'm completely exhausted and my brain is not quite working right now, so it's entirely possible that you just spouted a bunch of gibberish and I'm unable to see that. [:
Country29 16
Exactly karma can be considered a sort of religion in the sense that it affects your next life. But theres another meaning as in "what goes around comes around." whether short term or long term.
xx_alexmagm_xx 12
That's chemistry, physics is based around significant digits and the information surrounding motion
DJR_fml 2
Haha. Serves you right dick.
breuhh 0
I don't have a dick. ;)
motero 0
did u literally get da shit scared outta ya?
EmperorPsycho 0
It might hav been pee
RainShoes 0
Ew. xD
usafacadet2013 4
I don't mean to toot my own horn, but that has never happened to me.
Skyblu10 10
Bad pun is bad.
TheUnhappyMouse 0
so much pun.... I miss Docbastard....
bestnamever 6
Karma. :/
mickymatty 0
haha I think I just peed a little laughing so hard...
RogueLeader123 7
DIPSHIT LOL
lilmissy1290 0
how do you forget you have headphones in?