Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I saw a $100 bill in the bushes. It was, in fact, just a cleverly folded pamphlet for some church or something. I spent 10 minutes digging through leaves for nothing. FML
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML
Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML
Today, I found a $10 bill on the ground. I got so excited and felt like I was the richest person alive. That was, until the wind blew it out of my hand, never to be seen again. FML
Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML
Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML
Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML
Today, I spotted a $20 bill on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, the wind blew it away. I ended up running after it like a cartoon character, only to watch it get stuck up a tree. I did consider climbing up said tree, but with my luck I would've fallen off and had to pay 100 times more in hospital bills. FML
Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML
Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML
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Top comments
blink182AAR 6
Well what if someone picked it up to return? Finding money isn't being greedy, better than letting it go to waste. Don't religious people have better things to do?
MsConfusedd 27
Those suck. I found one that said "don't get too excited, it's only 10 bucks"
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Comments (58)
nickharbut 6
Same thing happened to me. But mine was a million dollars. Lol.
starman02 12
You found a million dollar BILL .. On the ground.. And thought it was real?!!?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Cool story bro. Tell me more about the million dollars.
McDonaldsworker 4
I'm sorry #1, Because the country you live in must have super high inflation if your nations paper money bills are printed as millions of units ($ or € or ¥) P.S. And I thought the U.S.A had bad inflation lol silly me ha ha.
elidine 0
I only carry schrute bucks.
JB184351 1
Same thing happened to me but it was a billion dollar bill
imustbeinsane 2
Every ******* bill is similar from a distance, he probably picked it up thinking it was real and then realized it was just the wrath of God. Quit unleashing the thumbs on him
thiscrazything 1
Did you try to cash it at Walmart?
unagi_fml 9
Mr Burns from The Simpsons' million dollar bill
GawdamitNappa 4
37- I think it's Zimbabwe where the inflation is so great they pay millions for a loaf of bread. They have to carry the money around in wheel barrows.
MsConfusedd 27
Those suck. I found one that said "don't get too excited, it's only 10 bucks"
gamercanadian 11
Damn if I was there I would have picked it up as well, looking at how broke everyone is these days who wouldn't be happy with extra money.
spekledworf 18
I found one at work... was so excited :(
raney150 0
I would have picked it up even if the economy was going fine. It's extra money. Unless you see who dropped it, you can't return it to the owner. So no harm done.
jtthegr8 26
Try and pay for something with it anyways
blink182AAR 6
Well what if someone picked it up to return? Finding money isn't being greedy, better than letting it go to waste. Don't religious people have better things to do?
94yhy 8
Some religions do — they collect money every week. OP should just drop this in their collection.
ladyLALAA 29
I agree, shouldn't they be helping people. There's an abortion clinic near my work and there is always at least 3 of them standing outside praying/picketing. They should do something that's actually constructive.
logkitty 5
their idea of being "constructive" is blowing up those abortion clinics.
KaylieeJay 4
Not to mention, how is needing money being greedy?
Andr913 13
I agree. Pathetic and mean spirited.
crimsonprodigy 15
LOL donate it to the church and watch their reaction.
shovelface1990 4
My sister got a 10 that said "disappointed? You won't be if you accept Jesus" as a tip for pizza delivery. Nope. Still disappointed.
breeY0 7
ooo what a bustttt,
le_troll 0
Indeed ;)
AugustBurnsToast 14
Of course you're gonna pick it up it's money. Kinda ridiculous -_-
Phil135 4
Exactly. There's nothing greedy about picking it up, why would you even let it go to waste? :P
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
7- This is completely unrelated to the FML but I'm seemingly unable to message you on my app currently. You should check out The Black Dahlia Murder and Necrophagist if you haven't already done so. Also, BMTH is TERRIBLE live. Pray For Plagues is pretty much their only good song, and they don't even do that one well live.
BeefyQueef 5
40- Hey! You stole my picture! Not cool man
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
Why have I been buried? I was merely passing on a bit of information. I introduced the comment by pointing out that I wasn't able to send it in a message. Lighten up, guys. I actually put some effort into using other channels before I sent it via a comment.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Keep it folded and use it...
MeekaMew 1
SH! Keep it secret ;)
heyguysitsjosh 8
Don't feel bad. Anyone would take a free $100
Meowingtons500 18
My pet peeve is Jehovahs Witnesses coming to my door. Over religious people can be so condescending. :(
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Slam the door on their faces, then, when they walk away, finger their butthole. Hard.
starman02 12
Open the door naked, they have never came back to my place since.. I even invited them in. Assholes declined..I think it was cause I was white
Meowingtons500 18
Yeah. Or not, I don't get down like that. But you go ahead.
Meowingtons500 18
18- Your bio makes my day. :D
Pudagiah 12
To keep Jehovah's witnesses away, all you need to do is scratch your crotch very obviously and/or pick your nose and then offer your hand for shaking. Then tell them you're already Christian/Buddhist/Muslim etc. etc. etc.
rubberduckie94 13
I got rid of them one day because I actually had the flu and when I answered the door was coughing and snuffing all over. I never knew they were that afraid of germs, but the beat a trail off my porch pretty fast.
itsallfunny19 3
You honestly don't have to go to that extreme.. Just say your Not interested. And if you don't want them back, ask them not to come back. Lol
xStaciexLynnx 15
Exactly like 97 said- All you have to do is tell them politely you're not interested and they don't come back. Everyone saying ridiculous things like scratch your balls is an idiot. That's not why they didn't come back. They didn't come back because you stated you weren't interested. It's not that big of a deal. They're following what the bible says they should do- spread the word of the lord. At least they're not hypocrites like pretty much every other religion.
efrainelboricua 12
18- prolly made them secretly happy ;) and made them rue the day they swore not to comment fornication.
trolodon 2
wouldn't that make it a sin for them to pass out papers like that?
starman02 12
Ah come on.. You didn't pick up the bill because you were "strapped for cash" .. Ya seen money and grabbed er. Totally sucks that it was a fake bill though. You shoulda just grabbed it.. Hooked it on a fishing line then had some fun ;)
le_troll 0
Can I grab your cans too?
THE_A_TEEN 28
No! Bad troll! *sprays water on le_troll