Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
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Top comments
MolesterStallone 13
Sounds like he was doing his own performance assessment!
Icejza_DaChilla 7
*sniff sniff* What's that smell..? It smells like blackmail to me!
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Comments (172)
martin_martian7 11
Who does that at work??!
alychick 5
Actually lots of people do it. Especially where I work >.
Rocky007 15
Everyone!!
esines 9
OP's boss apparently. OP you need to use your head and blackmail your boss, that way you never get the shaft at work. He'd have to be nuts to piss you off after receiving this load of information. Phallus...
djgoreo 12
46 I agree that blackmail isn't gonna work but I love your humor sire, good work.
Legendoflaw 4
Agreed.. Too many little kids on here trying to sound intelligent.
Justy101 23
50 - I think you missed the point of 46's comment.
Grimmerie 31
100, go be ageist somewhere else.
TurtleSmile 14
Definitely not me working at Macdonalds when I was 15, that's for sure.
BatemanFML 0
34- you don't happen to work at McDonald's, do you?
esines 9
Thank you 66 and guy before him it was a joke don't take it so seriously. Oh and here's another joke. Before OP came for the assessment from his boss, his boss came. Hey I never said it was gonna be a good joke
traedaria 14
It's a joke not a dick, don't take it so hard :p
dromaan 2
Blackmail his ass till you get a raise!
Shrike 24
A) What kind of a stupid asshole are you to suggest blackmailing someone? B) He has no proof to blackmail the boss with.
FMLKitten 15
24- What kind of a stupid asshole are you to think that 14 WASN'T kidding?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I don't think 24 is the asshole in question here...
joeystar95 4
I say YDI because you should have knocked
TeslaFreak 2
Public restroom?
DomDomxoxo 16
At work? Which might be a public place? Seriously?
fylx100 19
I hate when people say "well you should have blah blah blah" because more than half the people don't even do what they say. I'm sure you're one of them that said he should have knocked but yet, you don't knock either. But let's give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you do knock before entering a restroom. You're telling me that you've never forgotten to knock not even one time when you had to take a major piss?
StrangeDuckling 9
Stalls? Sometimes they're broken, sometimes they're just not closed... And LOCKS are handy contraptions too...
ebonyirony 29
Let's see who had the better performance
ohrlly7457 7
He can do a lot of fapping in that hour
WiseGuy79 14
You couldn't ask for a better opportunity to demand a raise!!
missunderstanded 5
be happy its an "annual" not an "anal" lol
G3K0 7
That's what I thought he said when I first read it.
jenniiienyc 5
He wasn't even in a stall?!?
newburton13 26
Time for blackmail.
TeslaFreak 2
Tht shouldn't be too awkward. :D