Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
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Top comments
MolesterStallone 13
Sounds like he was doing his own performance assessment!
Icejza_DaChilla 7
*sniff sniff* What's that smell..? It smells like blackmail to me!
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Comments (172)
Zachthejoker 10
Whatever u do, don't shake his hand
Braxton_84 3
Tell him you won a math debate.
esines 9
OPs boss is the master(de)bater, not OP.
Braxton_84 3
137… No shit.
perdix 31
Baby caterpillar is redundant. A caterpillar is a baby butterfly. You don't say "baby calf" or "baby puppy," do ya?
Dracoboxer357 36
123- *Stage whispering* Pssst! Perdix! Wrong posting! ;)
yamuri 17
Should have worked out in your favor, he probably was in a better mood after.
thugzy510 0
Do I hear registered sex offender ?
MackenzieWells 0
I seriously read that as anal performance... Awkward??
stej1985 3
big win for you! he can't exactly penisise you for seeing that. something this engorged always has a habit of making sticky situations last forever, but stay with it. ahahaha fyl op.sorry!
SluggerJ 7
Your boss likes The Lonely Island song "watch me do me"
KaskStunter 4
That is good. He will be relaxed and easy going during your assessment. He may need a cigarette though.
The_F3rris 11
If he gives you a bad performance assessment you can always black mail him with this. Look at the positives.