Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
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Top comments
Grootensliven 10
And not a shit was given that day
Lucia_Malpense 14
At least you haven't gotten to the point where you drink it fly and all.
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Comments (111)
Satoaoi 13
oh how sad. I hope u find a good home soon. you deserve it
verkaderk 9
How would you know? What if OP is a serial killer on the run???
buckdharma 38
I got a feeling Op is'nt drinking water.
Enslaved 38
How Kenya tell?
iammeorami 25
Wow, I've been to Kenya and have gotten leaves of bread with flies in them............ Really gross
melons 44
That was fruit cake, not bread.
Enslaved 38
Not without yelling "Spit out my beer, you thieving bastard!"
LaurenAshleigh97 12
I think it's funny how everyone has automatically assumed OP is drinking beer
Enslaved 38
Yep, Corona Beer! Damn Spanish Fly!
Tiana_34 4
Kenya believe it?! had to be done.
misslysiak 23
I do that all the time. I didn't realise that it was a bad thing.
StanSmith2013 26
Looks like I will be having fun out there, when I go on safari in 2014!
KiddNYC1O 22
Damn, who knows how many turds the fly dove in before diving in your water...
Cupcake040 17
Protein?